Free Deep Surrendering: Episode Five by Chelsea M. Cameron Page A

blew him a kiss, and he smiled before the video cut out.
    I sighed and closed my laptop. Chloe, my normal sounding board, was at work, as well as my other friends. That was the bummer of being in school when all your friends had grown-up jobs. Still, if I showed up at one of their workplaces, I was sure they’d make time for me. My friends were pretty spectacular.
    I needed to get out. Do something. My morning class had been cancelled, and I found myself with a few unscheduled hours to burn.
    First things first, I definitely had to put clothes on. I’d only gotten halfway dressed on top and made myself up to look nice for Fin. I looked down at my pajama bottoms and my lavender-painted toenails.
    Time to get myself together. If I could.

“Y ou look miserable,” Chloe said that night as we had drinks at one of the small bars near my apartment. She’d texted me saying she had a bad day and needed a drink, and I definitely needed one.
    “Really? I thought I was hiding it so well.” I cringed at the tone in my voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that.” She gave me a sympathetic look and then rubbed my arm.
    “It’s okay, I can take it. You were there for me with my messy breakup and I’m going to be here for you while your man is away.” Her breakup had been more than messy. It was tumultuous, and I hadn’t been sure if she was going to come out on the other side of it. When Chloe fell, she threw herself into it, and when it ended, the crash had been explosive. I almost thought I’d have to take her to the hospital at one point.
    I wasn’t going to go through that. I wasn’t in love with Fin. Well, not yet.
    “Of course I had to get entangled with a complicated guy,” I said, draining my cosmopolitan. It felt like a fancy drink kind of night. Chloe was drinking a Corona and waved her hand at the bartender to get another.
    “I told you. You like the bad boys. They come with warning labels and side effects.” But why THIS particular bad boy? That was the question.
    Well, Fin wasn’t really bad. I truly believed that. But bad things had happened to him. Lots. I knew there were things that happened to him that I didn’t even know about yet. I hadn’t even gotten to the heart of his secrets, but I hoped that I would.
    “You could totally get on a plane and go see him if you wanted to,” Chloe suggested. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea, but I didn’t think it would go over well with Fin. He liked to keep work and his personal life separate. Sure, I showed up at his office, but it hadn’t gone well. His father had walked in, and I couldn’t stop the shiver that flowed down my spine when I thought about meeting the elder Mr. Herald.
    He wasn’t a man to be messed with.
    “No, I don’t need to do that. We can do the long distance thing. I can handle it,” I said, contemplating whether I should get another drink, and deciding yes, I wanted to have another drink.
    “Sure you can. I couldn’t, but I definitely think you can.” I wished there was more confidence in her voice, but we both knew that long distance relationships weren’t easy, even if you’d been together for ages.
    “I don’t know,” I said. “Can we talk about something else?”
    “Well, you should call Sloane, because apparently our girl Rory is in deep with this Lucas guy. Like, love deep. They’ve been spending a hell of a lot of time together and Sloane said she’s never seen Rory like this before.”
    Wow. That was really something. I’d thought the office romance was just going to be a fling, something that would burn out in a few weeks when the glow from forbidden sex wore off.
    “Well, good for her. She deserves to be happy,” I said.
    “We all do.”
    “I’ll drink to that,” I said as the bartender handed over our drinks. I raised my glass and Chloe raised her bottle.
    “To being happy,” she said with a grim smile.
     

     
    Fin didn’t call again on the webcam until late that night, but I was