Free Tequila & Tea Bags by Laura Barnard Page A

makes me feel so uncomfortable.  
    ‘But I want to show you.’ He walks up to me, towering over my face. My breath leaves my body. I have to look up to him, he’s so tall. I’m used to being tall at five foot seven, but this is scary height. He must be six foot four at least.
    I can almost feel his breath on my forehead. Oh my God. What the hell is he offering here? My palms start sweating and the back of my neck feels hot. Is he going to kiss me? Do I want to kiss him? My heart rate says different to my brain.
    ‘So…what…what…what are you going to show me?’ I mumble, my voice raspy, my breath coming out in sharp spurts, making my chest rise and fall dramatically.
    Suddenly a box is thrust in my face and I have to stand back so it doesn’t hit me.
    He grins. ‘I’m introducing you to Yorkshire tea.’ I look at the box closer and he’s right. It's a box of tea bags.
    Is he serious? Talk about getting a girl hot under the collar!
    I laugh, pushing him away, trying to act like I’m not a hot mess. ‘Sorry, I don’t like tea.’
    He rolls his eyes. ‘Elsie mentioned it, but that’s only because you’ve been having shitty southern tea. Our water is far softer. Let me make you a proper brew and I promise you’ll like it.’
    He looks so hopeful and happy…over tea. It's weird, but kind of endearing. Is this what turns him on? Tea? Is he going to ask me to tea bag him? I laugh to myself at my little joke.
    ‘O…kay. But I should get dressed first.’ I back away towards the stairs, his eyes following me, amused. Why does he always seem to be laughing at me?
    ‘You’re probably right.’ He smiles, with a wink. What the hell do these winks mean? He’s giving me a headache.
    ‘Right.’ I nod.
    I turn around and stub my toe, stumbling onto the first step, and squashing my boob. I shriek from the agony. Not the boob. I go to grab the towel, but it's already fallen on the floor, pooled around my feet.
    ‘Aaaaahhhhh!’ I scream, desperately trying to cover myself. What do I cover first? The boobs or the Lulu? Oh dear God! ‘Look away! Look away!’ I shriek, trying to cover everything at once.
    ‘I’m looking away,’ he says, chuckling silently to himself.
    I watch him turn his body slightly, his hand up over his eyes. I grab the towel and throw it around myself, running up the stairs as fast as my legs will take me. I rush into my room and close the door behind me, sliding down to the floor. What the hell is wrong with me? Even when I don’t want to get naked with a guy my body somehow finds a way. He must have seen. He must have. My boobs are hard to miss.
    I pull on some black leggings and a loose grey t-shirt. I grab Elsie’s over-sized black and grey cardigan and apply a small bit of make-up. I mean, I know I don’t even like the guy, but I still don’t want to look like a monster in front of him. Just a bit of blusher, some mascara and some lip balm. Simple for me. There, that looks fine enough. I go to put my boots on when I realise that will probably look weird. I am supposed to be in my own house.
    I walk down shyly in Elsie’s Forever Friends socks. I should really have something more sensible, but I didn’t plan on wearing socks with my sandals in Mexico. I look at the sofa, but he’s not there. Has he gone home? How long was I up there? Maybe he was offended by my nakedness.
    ‘Will?’ I call out shyly, tucking a bit of hair behind my ear.
    ‘In here.’
    I smile, but then pull myself together as I walk towards his voice in the kitchen. Why am I even happy he’s still here? He’s a lordly arse. I find him filling up Elsie’s teapot, swishing it around like he’s creating art or something. Make yourself at home, why don’t you?  
    ‘So you’re really into your tea, then?’ I raise my eyebrows at his swirling to show my amusement.
    ‘Not just me. All of Yorkshire. Hell, most of England. Trust me when I say you’re the weirdo. I’m just trying to get you to fit in