Free My Life Across the Table by Karen Page Page A

life.” I walked through the rooms of her home in my mind, describing in detail what I saw.
Carefully choosing my words, “You have had so much loss. I keep looking at a bedroom in your home, set up like a hospital room, but I see several different people in the same bed, but at different times.”
She was very still, tightly clutching the keys in her hands, clasped rigidly together in her lap. Marta barely murmured, “Yes that’s right. It’s my family home, and it’s the only place I’ve ever lived, and yes, you’re right about the bedroom, too.”
I couldn’t look in her eyes or I would have burst into tears. I shifted my gaze to focus on the gray New York sky hovering outside the window. The weather seeming to reflect the emotion I felt for this lovely woman. “You have been the caregiver, not just for them, but for everyone in your family. I see an older woman, and then a man. They feel like your mother and father.”
In barely a whisper, Marta confirmed my words, “Yes, they were both in that room.”
I could hardly get the words out as water filled my eyes “They were sick, and then left, back to back,” turning to look at her as the first tears tumbled down my cheeks, “You took care of them all by yourself. I don’t see any brothers or sisters, no other family to help you. Just you.”
Her voice was barely audible now, as tears began spilling from her eyes, “I was an only child, so there was no one to help me.”
Realizing the sadness had finally overtaken both of us, I reached for a box of Kleenex on the table, holding it up between us. Now, I understood what I had been feeling for her, and why.
I knew at that moment that the weeping between us wasn’t going to stop, until I finished her reading. “I see that you lost both of your parents within a very short period of time, and I am looking at another elderly man in that bed now. He feels like your uncle.”
She was weeping quietly, “Yes, he is dying now, too.”
The tears kept flowing as our tissues piled up in the trash, “It’s almost over, sweetheart, and you know he is getting ready to leave. Oh, I’m so sorry, Marta. This has been going on for more than ten years, the illness, the loss, and then the cycle feels like it has repeated over and over again, and now with your uncle.”
Her words seemed to come from someplace far away, “Yes, it has been going on for a very long time, and I know it won’t be much longer for my uncle. I will miss him terribly, because he’s the last one left in my family.”
I needed to look at another area of Marta’s life, or I was going to drown in my tears. “I want to talk to you about your job now. Do you work around a lot of books? I keep seeing you surrounded by books.” Lowering my voice, “I want to whisper when I talk about your job. It feels so quiet there, are you a librarian?”
Sweetly now, “Yes, well actually I’m a medical librarian, and it is very quiet there.”
I saw the light in Marta’s eyes as I spoke, “Well, you know you can stay there as long as you want. I see that they’re modernizing the facility, so there will be some new procedures you’ll be required to learn, but aside from those little issues, you definitely have security there. Wow! You’ve been there a long time, and they just love you.”
Marta was beaming with pride, “Yes, I’ve been there over thirty years. It’s the only job I’ve ever known, and they are such nice people to work with. After all this time, they’re almost like my family.”
I moved forward, “I know you don’t travel much, but do you ever get away? Even for a weekend?”
Marta looked surprised, “Oh, I’ve never been out of New York! I’ve gone between Brooklyn and the city my whole life. I’ve never traveled anywhere, Karen.”
I was overwhelmed by the incredibly small world Marta lived in, and had lived in her entire life, “Not even for a weekend? Haven’t you ever wanted to travel?”
She was composed now, “I wanted to