Free Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert K. Massie Page A

everything that had happened.
    The month of May seemed interminable to the Tsarevich. He spent his days pacing among the lilacs in the park, then rushing off to write another letter to Alix. At last, in June, he boarded the Imperial yacht Polar Star, which carried him down the Baltic and across the North Sea to Alix in England. At the end of the four-day trip, nearing the English coast, he wrote, "Tomorrow I shall see my beloved again. . . . I'll go mad with joy." He landed at Gravesend and hurried by train to London's Waterloo Station "into the arms of my betrothed who looked lovely and more beautiful than ever."
    Together, the pair went to a cottage at Walton-on-Thames belonging to Alix's eldest sister, Princess Victoria of Battenberg. For three memorable days, they relaxed on the banks of the gently flowing river. They walked on the bright green lawns and gathered fruit and flowers from nearby fields. Under an old chestnut tree in the cottage garden, they sat in the grass and Alix embroidered while Nicholas read to her. "We were out all day long in beautiful weather, boating up and down the river, picnicking on the shore. A veritable idyll," Nicholas wrote his mother. Years later, both Nicholas and Alix remembered every detail of those three shining days in the English countryside, and the mere mention of the name Walton was enough to bring tears of happiness to Alix's eyes.
----
    When the three days were over, the young couple emerged from their private cocoon of happiness. "Granny" waited to greet them at Windsor Castle. Tsar Alexander III had sent his personal confessor, Father Yanishev, and the priest was anxious to begin Alix's religious instruction. At Windsor, Nicholas presented his formal engagement gifts: a pink pearl ring, a necklace of large pink pearls, a chain bracelet bearing a massive emerald, and a sapphire-and-diamond brooch. Grandest of all was a sautoir of pearls, a gift to his new daughter-in-law from the Tsar. Created by Fabergé, the famed Russian court jeweler, it was worth 250,000 gold roubles and was the largest single transaction Fabergé ever had with the Imperial family. Staring at this dazzling display of gems, Queen Victoria smilingly shook her head and said, "Now, Alix, do not get too proud."
    The heat was stifling in England that summer. Nicholas began riding out from Windsor Castle in the morning while it still was cool. He liked to trot down Queen Anne's Way, a popular horse path bordered by magnificent trees, then come back home through open fields, "galloping like a fool." He was always back by ten to join Alix and the Queen for coffee. Lunch was at two, and afterward everybody rested and tried to ward off the heat. Before tea, Nicholas and Alix drove under the great oaks of Windsor Park and admired the blooming rhododendron. Nicholas admitted to his mother, "I can't complain. Granny has been very friendly and even allowed us to go for drives without a chaperone." In the evening, when the air had cooled, they dined with guests on a balcony or terrace and listened to music being played in the castle courtyard. Once when a violinist came up from London, Alix accompanied him on the piano.
    Despite her lessons with Father Yanishev, Alix frequently popped into Nicholas's rooms. He apologized to his mother for not writing home more often. "Every moment," he pleaded, "I simply had to get up and embrace her." During one of these visits, apparently, Alix discovered that Nicholas was keeping a diary. She began to write in it herself. These entries, most of them in English, began with short notes—"Many loving kisses," "God bless you, my angel," "forever, forever"—and progressed to lines of verse and prayers:
    "I dreamed that I was loved, I woke and found it true and thanked God on my knees for it. True love is the gift which God has given, daily, stronger, deeper, fuller, purer."
    As the object of such overwhelming devotion, Nicholas felt that he had to speak about certain episodes in his past.