Free Lockdown by Walter Dean Myers Page B

make myself clear to you, Mr. Sanders?”
    King Kong said he understood.
    But when we were leaving, King Kong gave me a look and screwed up his face. Sucker didn’t understand nothing.

CHAPTER 16
    “So why do you think I put the chairs in a circle?” Miss Rossetti asked.
    “So we can check out the girls?” Diego asked.
    There were two girls at the group session, Kat and Eileen, a black girl who worked in the nurse’s office sometimes.
    “Because circles are nonthreatening,” Miss Rossetti said. “And the girls aren’t here to be ‘checked out.’ At this session we’re going to see how brave everyone is. What I want us to do is for anyone to start, and tell us two things that they’re afraid of.”
    “What’s brave about that?” Play asked.
    “Well, let’s find out,” Miss Rossetti said. “Would you like to start?”
    “I ain’t afraid of nothing,” Play said.
    “Everybody has fears,” Miss Rossetti said. “I think we can all agree to that. Anybody else want to give it a try?”
    “I’m afraid anytime I leave Alphabet City,” Diego said. “You can let your mind wander—you know, thinking about your woman or something—and step into another gang’s turf. Then you end up getting shot or stabbed or beat down just for not paying attention. That’s one thing I’m scared of.”
    “So you’re afraid of street violence,” Miss Rossetti said. “Would you like to say anything more about street violence? Are you only afraid when you leave your neighborhood?”
    “Yeah, more or less,” Diego said. “When I’m on my block, my boys got my back and I know I’m cool.”
    “If your boys really had your back, you could walk anyplace you wanted to and nobody would mess with you because they’d know there would be some comeback.” King Kong was looking smug.
    “Comeback ain’t doing me no good if I’m being wrecked,” Diego said. “You thinking I’m going to be up in heaven looking down and getting happy over some comeback?”
    “Diego, if you die you ain’t going to heaven,” Play said. “Suckers like you die and go to Walmart.They got a storage area in the back for dead punkeros.”
    “We don’t need to make this personal,” Miss Rossetti said. “And we won’t. I think that neighborhood violence is something to be afraid of, especially when you’re young.”
    “Another thing I’m afraid of is getting caught up in a stickup or a drive-by with some fool who don’t know how to use a gun just popping off caps and killing everybody,” Diego said.
    “More neighborhood violence,” Miss Rossetti said. “And the thing to remember is that violence doesn’t stop affecting us when we get behind closed doors. The threat is always there in our subconscious. Do you agree?”
    “Not really,” I said. “Unless some dudes are outside your door and trying to get in.”
    “That doesn’t hold true for everyone,” Miss Rossetti said. “And people do handle their fears differently. How about you, Deepak?”
    Toon looked up when he heard his name. He smiled, shrugged, and folded his hands. “I’m afraid…sometimes I’m afraid, but not all the time….” He looked around and sort of half smiled.“Sometimes I’m afraid that my father will be disappointed in me.”
    We waited for him to go on, but he didn’t.
    “We have expectations of ourselves,” Miss Rossetti said. “And people have expectations of us and sometimes we worry, as Deepak said, about how we measure up.”
    “You got a little saying for everything we’re afraid of?” Play asked.
    “Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and a lot of people have done studies on adolescent fears,” Miss Rossetti said. “And although I have some insights, I think we all can look at the problem of fear and come to some conclusions. Don’t you think so?”
    “I guess,” Play answered.
    “Anything else, Deepak?” Miss Rossetti asked.
    “Sometimes I think my mother will be mad at me,” Toon said.
    Miss Rossetti