Free Corruption Officer by Gary Heyward Page A

chance I got - thanks to Biz playing me. All the
inmates should have said, ‘Thank you, Biz!’   Yessir!   Yessir!   I am a full fledge backstabbing, pussy
tapping, robbing the City by going to sleep on the midnight tour, C.O.!   Even though I still live with my moms, I
stepped my game up immensely.   I’ve acquired
a green Dodge Caravan from Major World Auto - where everybody goes with fucked
up credit.   Don’t act like it’s just
me.   I no longer have just one pair of
black pants to go partying in.   I now
have two pairs, one of them leather.   I
bought my first pair of gators and allat.   Yeah baby, I am ball’n!   I am a
crowd favorite when it comes to snapping and joking around the jail and guess
what?   These fools done fucked around and
let a nigga purchase a firearm!   It’s a
gat, a ratchet, a biscuit, a burner to all my inner-city home boys and a ooohhwop to anybody over fifty.   Ha, ha I am on top of the wooorrrld!
    Mental note:   Negro ain’t say shit about taking his kids
nowhere, spending time with them or buying them anything.   Well, I guess I can always blame it on all of
the overtime I am doing.   Yeah that’s the
ticket.  
    Now the white shirts come down the hall to address us at
roll call.   We all stand in line formation
on some paramilitary shit for morning inspection.   We are required to have a memo book that we
keep our daily activities logged in, a 911 knife, which is a switchblade that
curves, and is used when an Officer on the midnight tour wakes up to find an
inmate dangling from an attempt to hang themselves somewhere in his/her cell
and has to be cut down, a flashlight, and O.C. spray, which is a form of pepper
spray.  
    While we were being inspected, two Officers from our
security department roll out a wooden cabinet with two doors on it.   They position it in front of our line,
upright, so that everyone can see its contents.   Then they open the doors and reveal to us all sorts of weapons that they
have confiscated from inmates at some time in the past.   They had all kinds of shanks in there made up
from inmates’ imaginations.   One Captain
starts to point to some of them and tell us where they were found.  
    “This one was found under the radiator, this one on top of a
light fixture,” he said.  
    It was a sharpened piece of plastic.   He stated that the inmates got smart and
started using them to pass through the metal detectors.   With a serious look on his face he said
truthfully while holding up the plastic shank wrapped in rubber bands, “This
can and will go right through that stab proof vest that yall be wearing if the
right amount of force is applied.   This
one’s my favorite,” he says while taking a seven inch sharpened pipe out of the
display case.   “I call it the stool
softener because it was removed from an inmate’s anus!”  
    All of us relatively new Officers looked in shock.   A Senior Officers belted out, “Goddam, Cap’
how many times are you going to show us these old shits?”   The Captain gives a look like okay smartass
and then says, “You’re right, C.O. Chase, so now let’s take a look at some
other items that we found on inmates recently.”  
    He then pulls out a small box from the bottom of the display
case.   Then he takes out of the box some Gemstar
razors and about fifteen surgical scaffolds.   We all stand there stunned.   Then
the Captain says, “And these are no makeshift bangers or shanks.   Sheeeit, some of them still have the price
tag on them from the store.”   Then he
looks at big mouth, Chase, and says, “Maybe we need to dust them for your
finger prints.”   Chase responds, “Stop
playing, Cap, that ain’t funny!”  
    “No, it ain’t funny,” the Captain says while walking down
the formation with the items held up in his hands and says, “These items were
not made up by inmates, these items were brought in here!”   He pauses to let his words sink in then
continues,