Free Elixir (Covenant) by Jennifer L. Armentrout Page B

backed out of the room.
    Sighing, I turned around. “Alex—”
    The spot she’d stood in was empty. Dammit. I should’ve known better. Yelling and threatening to choke the ever-loving crap out of Deacon in front of her hadn’t been wise. I kept forgetting that this wasn’t Alex.
    This was a frightened girl.
    My eyes scanned the room, stopping on the linen closet door. It was ajar, revealing a thin strip of darkness. She wouldn’t…
    To think of Alex—my strong, beautiful and resilient Alex—hiding in a closet killed me. For a heartbeat, I couldn’t move or breathe. I’d done this to her—given her the Elixir, changed her into something that ran when voices were raised. And I wanted to blame Seth for his influence, the bond he’d forged with her that’d led us to this choice, but I’d been the one who’d forced the Elixir down her throat.
    There wasn’t forgiveness for me.
    Stamping down the whirling mix of grief and rage, I made my way to the closet and slowly opened the double doors. It was a deep closet, with several shelves on the top stocked with quilts. A few garment bags hung from a rail. My gaze dropped. Five tiny toes peeked out from behind a bag.
    I closed my eyes and swore under my breath, and then I eased the bags apart. Alex’s foot jerked back, and I could hear her moving deeper into the recesses. Kneeling down, I found her pressed against the wall, knees tucked against her chest and eyes wide.
    “Oh, Alex.”
    She watched me warily. “My name is Alexandria.”
    And just like that, all those days of drawing her out of the Elixir-induced shell were lost.
    “Okay.” I sat down cross-legged and dragged my fingers through my hair, debating on how to proceed with this. Deacon used to get nightmares when he was a kid. He hadn’t hidden in the closet, but he had screamed like a furie. I used to read to him. Somehow I doubted that would work now. “Are you all right?”
    A moment passed. “I do not like yelling.”
    “I know. I’m sorry.” And I was. “But I would never hurt Deacon. He’s my brother.”
    Confusion flickered over her face. “You said you were going to strangle him.”
    I really wanted to strangle him now. “I didn’t mean it. Sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we’re upset.”
    She appeared to consider that. “When you yelled, I saw something.”
    “What?” I inched forward, careful not to startle her. “What did you see?”
    Opening her hands, she stared down at them. The bishop was in her hand, leaving behind angry red marks from how tightly she’d been holding it. “Blood—there was blood on my hands, but it was not there. Not really.”
    I had no idea what she meant by that, but I’d moved to her side while she’d been talking, and she hadn’t seemed to notice. I sat next to her, stretching out my legs in the cramped space. My shoulder brushed hers, and her eyes shot to my face, questioning and indecisive but not scared.
    “Is there still blood on your hands now?”
    Alex shook her head. “I heard something, too. It was a voice,” she continued softly. “It was important.”
    My stomach sank. I didn’t like where this was going, what it would lead to. If she was starting to remember things, it meant she’d need another dose, another compulsion. And I’d just given the last dose two days ago. I sighed. “What is it?”
    Her fingers twisted along the edges of the bishop. “You’ll kill the ones you love.” She lifted her gaze. Tears glistened in her eyes. “Have I?”
    “Alex…” There weren’t words for this. Her lower lip started to tremble, and my heart squeezed. My mind was made up. “No. You’ve never killed anyone.”
    She blinked and her voice was just a hushed whisper. “I haven’t?”
    “No, agapi mou , you haven’t.”
    Wiping under her eyes with her sleeves, she sighed. Pain brimmed underneath the surface, as did confusion. “I dream that I have, over and over again.”
    I smiled for her even as I felt my chest