Free Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison Page B

while she's foamin' at the mouth and cockin' the gun, she gits her speech.
    " 'Git up! Git up!' she says.
    " 'HEY! NAW! KATE!' I says.
    " 'Goddam yo' soul to hell! Git up offa my chile!'
    " 'But woman, Kate, lissen . . .'
    " 'Don't talk, MOVE!'
    " 'Down that thing, Kate!'
    " 'No down, UP!'
    " 'That there's buckshot, woman, BUCKshot!'
    " 'Yes, it is!'
    " 'Down it, I say!"
    " 'I'm gon blast your soul to hell!'
    " 'You gon hit Matty Lou!'
    " 'Not Matty Lou --YOU!'
    " 'It spreads, Kate. Matty Lou!'
    "She moves around, aimin' at me.
    " 'I done warn you, Jim . . .'
    " 'Kate, it was a dream. Lissen to me . . .'
    " 'You the one who lissen --UP FROM THERE!'
    "She jerks the gun and I shuts my eyes. But insteada thunder and lightin' bustin' me, I hears Matty Lou scream in my ear,
    " 'Mamma! Oooooo, MAMA!'
    "I rolls almost over then and Kate hesitates. She looks at the gun, and she looks at us, and she shivers a minit like she got the fever. Then all at once she drops the gun, and ZIP! quick as a cat, she turns and grabs somethin' off the stove. It catches me like somebody diggin' into my side with a sharp spade. I caint breathe. She's throwin' and talkin' all at the same time.
    "And when I looks up, Maan, Maaan! she's got a iron in her hand!
    "I hollers, 'No blood, Kate. Don't spill no blood!'
    " 'You low-down dog,' she says, 'it's better to spill than to foul!'
    " 'Naw, Kate. Things ain't what they 'pear! Don't make no blood-sin on accounta no dream-sin!"
    " 'Shut up, nigguh. You done fouled!'
    "But I sees there ain't no use reasonin' with her then. I makes up my mind that I'm goin' to take whatever she gimme. It seems to me that all I can do is take my punishment. I tell myself, Maybe if you suffer for it, it will be best. Maybe you owe it to Kate to let her beat you. You ain't guilty, but she thinks you is. You don't want her to beat you, but she think she got to beat you. You want to git up, but you too weak to move.
    "I was too. I was frozen to where I was like a youngun what done stuck his lip to a pump handle in the wintertime. I was just like a jaybird that the yellow jackets done stung 'til he's paralyzed --but still alive in his eyes and he's watchin' 'em sting his body to death.
    "It made me seem to go way back a distance in my head, behind my eyes, like I was standin'
    behind a windbreak durin' a storm. I looks out and sees Kate runnin' toward me draggin' something behind her. I tries to see what it is 'cause I'm curious 'bout it and sees her gown catch on the stove and her hand comin' in sight with somethin' in it. I thinks to myself, It's a handle. What she got the handle to?
    Then I sees her right up on me, big. She's swingin' her arms like a man swingin' a ten-pound sledge and I sees the knuckles of her hand is bruised and bleedin', and I sees it catch in her gown and I sees her gown go up so I can see her thighs and I sees how rusty and gray the cold done made her skin, and I sees her bend and straightenin' up and I hears her grunt and I sees her swing and I smells her sweat and I knows by the shape of the shinin' wood what she's got to put on me. Lawd, yes! I sees it catch on a quilt this time and raise that quilt up and drop it on the floor. Then I sees that ax come free! It's shinin', shinin' from the sharpenin' I'd give it a few days before, and man, way back in myself, behind that windbreak, I says,
    " 'NAAW! KATE --Lawd, Kate, NAW!!!' "
    Suddenly his voice was so strident that I looked up startled. Trueblood seemed to look straight through Mr. Norton, his eyes glassy. The children paused guiltily at their play, looking toward their father.
    "I might as well been pleadin' with a switch engine," he went on. "I sees it comin' down. I sees the light catchin' on it, I sees Kate's face all mean and I tightens my shoulders and stiffens my neck and I waits --ten million back-breakin' years, it seems to me like I waits. I waits so long I remembers all the wrong things I ever done; I waits so long I opens my eyes and closes