Free A Strange Fire (Florence Vaine) by L.H. Cosway Page A

want to
look up some dream interpretations and maybe figure out what the one I had last
night meant. Gran doesn’t have a computer in her house, so this is the only
chance I’ll get to do my research since it’s Friday and then I won’t be in
school for the weekend.
     I can’t go that long with this eating at my peace of mind, not that I
ever really get much. I’m always in fear, that’s how Dad taught me to live, in
fear of each and every step I take. I click onto the Google homepage and type
in “dreams of cannibalism” and see what my search brings up.
     One of the first few on the list is an interpretation, so I click on
that and start reading, it says, Dreams relating to cannibalism refer to a
certain aspect of your life which “consumes” you and drains you of positive
energy. If you see a cannibal attacking you and trying to eat your flesh this
means that there is something or someone in the waking life that feeds off of
you. If you are a cannibal in your dream the situation is reversed and you
become the one who feeds off somebody. Seeing yourself as a cannibal may also
speak about your ambitious nature, about your wish to conquer all adversaries
and defeat all enemies in the waking life.
      I read on to the end of the page, but still I’m confused. It all
seems to be about either being attacked by a cannibal or being one yourself,
but in my dream I was a witness and nothing more. Of course, maybe the fact
that cannibalism is the subject matter holds all the meaning to begin with.
Thinking about it, it could be, as many things in my psyche are, related to my
dad.
     Perhaps he was the one who drained me of positive energy. Come to think
of it, there was no “perhaps” about it. Living with the man was killing me
slowly, in my mind and in my body. But then why am I having this dream now, at
a time when I’ve finally gotten free of him? Post-traumatic stress maybe?
Again, nothing makes any sense to me.
     “What are you reading?” asks a smug and instantly recognisable
voice from behind me. Josh. He places a hand on my shoulder, but I quickly turn
around and remove it.
     “None of your business,” I tell him, minimising the window.
     “Having nightmares are we kitten?”
     “Are you stalking me?” I spit. It surprises me that I haven’t stuttered
once, when normally, and particularly with boys, my speech is stunted as hell.
For some reason I feel like I know Josh even though he is a complete stranger,
like we’ve got something in common despite being nothing alike. His aura shows
signs of victimisation, which is odd because Josh is anything but a victim. I’d
be more inclined to believe the opposite.
     “Well I do go to school here sweetness, so it’s only to be expected that
we bump into each other,” he smirks and then takes a seat beside me, the only
other person in the room is a girl with red hair and glasses at the front near
the door.
     “Why aren’t you at lunch?” I say with a heavy sigh.
     “I wanted to check my email,” he grins
     “Well then, don’t let me keep you,” I turn away from him and go about
visiting a music website just for something to do. I won’t be continuing my
dream research with this idiot sitting beside me.
     Josh leans in and nudges my shoulder with his. “I wouldn’t mind if you
kept me,” he breathes.
     “Was that a come on?” I scoff, sputtering a laugh.
     “Of course,” he grins. “Why else do you think I’d be pursuing you like
this, because it’s certainly not for friendship.”
     “Well isn’t that just lovely.”
     “Thanks for the compliment,” he says, blatantly ignoring my sarcasm. “So
we were talking about your nightmares?”
     “No we were not. You were sticking your nose in where it’s not wanted,
n-now go away please.”
     “Was it scary?” he asks with false dramatic intensity, and pulls his
chair right up to mine. “If you let me into your bed then maybe you wouldn’t
have bad dreams, then again,