Free Blissful Surrender by BJ Harvey, Jennifer Roberts-Hall Page A

I’m the annoying voice of reason at the back of your head that you need to hear when you’re thinking about being a dumbass.” She giggles and I struggle to hold back a smile.
    “See! That’s what you needed to hear. A good ol’ Helen pep talk before the big game.”
    “Game?”
    “You and Sean. I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the restaurant. I just know the sexual tension is going to be epic.” She claps her hands in glee. “I’m kind of glad there is finally a man with brass balls in your life again.”
    “Helen!” I growl.
    “What? You cannot tell me that Tanner is not a pussycat in the sack. I’ve seen that guy around and I’ve seen him around you. He’s a pussy whipped sap who would let you spank his ass and literally bust his balls.”
    “He is not a pussycat in the sack. He’s a pussycat out of bed,” I retort with a smirk.
    I think back to last night when Tanner had turned up on my doorstep, disrupting me from my CSI New York episode. “Tanner,” I mumbled through a yawn as I answered the front door wearing a tank top, pajama shorts and purple fluffy slippers. Turning up unannounced was not an uncommon occurrence for him, but knowing that I had dinner with Sean the next night, I wasn’t in the mood for company. My mind changed when he presented me with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ‘Karamel Sutra’ ice cream. He had the cutest grin on his face, so I couldn't turn him away after that, could I?
    “Baby, you didn’t reply to my text so I thought I’d head over with dessert. That’s okay, right?”
     
    Tanner, the sweet, hot as fuck, sensitive new aged guy who’s been a frequent inhabitant in my bed for the past few months. He caught my eye when I was at the academy working as a field training officer. I’d needed a work out and decided to join in with a bunch of recruits who were working their way through circuit training. When Tanner knelt in front of me and held my feet down while I did sit ups, it was one of those swoon worthy moments where our eyes met, the air crackled between us, and his huge white smile did me in.
    Much to Tanner’s chagrin, I could only offer him a physical relationship, not an emotional one. We went out for a drink after work where I explained this to him. After the impromptu date, he was the perfect gentleman and walked me to my door. He then moved toward me, forcing me back until my body was flush against the wood paneling of the doorway and proceeded to kiss the shit out of me. It was soft, almost cautious at first, then the moment I opened my mouth to him, he went in for the kill. Long, languid strokes of his tongue explored my mouth with such enthusiasm and passion I was left a panting mess when he finally pulled away, resting his head against my forehead while he recovered. When I whispered in his ear asking if he wanted to come inside with me, he stood up straight and looked down at me. His eyes widened in surprise before he reached around me and pushed the door open. He gently moved me inside and shut the door behind us. I don’t think we made it to the bedroom that first time, or the second. By the third round, we were at the slow, lazy, sleepy sex stage and the bed was the most comfortable place to be.
    That was the first night of many that Tanner and I ended up in bed together. We occasionally work out together, we share a meal once in a while, and we’ve attended work functions as the other’s plus one, but it’s always been a ‘friends with benefits’ situation. I didn’t go after an arrangement like the one we have, but it fits into my life perfectly. I know Tanner wants more, he’s always wanted more, and I don’t miss the looks of adoration he shoots my way when he thinks I’m not looking.
    But Tanner, for all his fantastic qualities in and out of the bedroom, is not who my heart truly desires. He makes me hot, but he doesn’t make my blood boil . He has the stamina of a teenager and can provide encore performances over and over