Free Geek Girl by Cindy C Bennett Page B

can’t when he’s looking into my eyes like that, demanding honesty. I look down, chagrined.
    “You noticed that, huh?”
    “How could I not?” He laughs roughly. “And telling me you’re jealous of Mary Ellen, touching me all of the time when you know what it does to me.”
    I want to be flippant and demand he tell me just what it does to him, but I’m afraid that he will tell me. After all, Trevor is nothing if not honest.
    “What are you saying, Trevor?” I finally ask.
    “I want to be with you.”
    “You are.”
    “You know what I mean. I want to know how you feel about me. Honestly.”
    I look at our hands folded together on the blanket. And just for now, I want to drop the game. For just a little while I want to be what he wants of me. Just for a little while.
    “We’re holding hands,” I say, looking back into his gorgeous green eyes.
    “Yeah, so?”
    “I don’t hold hands with my friends, Trev.”
    His eyes change, darkening a little at that. He kisses me then, leaning toward me as we lie on the blanket holding hands. A sweet kiss, asking nothing. It isn’t anything like the demanding full-of-expectation kisses I’m used to. I can’t help but smile at him when he pulls away. His answering smile is dazzling, taking my breath away.
    “I need to tell you something, though . . .” I say. “Don’t be offended, but, uh . . .”
    He’s patient, waiting for me to find the words. His thumb rubbing the back of my hand is such a pleasant sensation I almost don’t want to say the words. But say them, I must.
    “I really like you also, Trev. Completely unexpected, but there it is. I’m not quite ready to, you know, go public . Not with your friends and definitely not with mine, you know?”
    I wait for the anger, but he goes against the usual grain again and smiles at me.
    “Got a rep to protect, huh?”
    “A rep ?” I ask. “What, one night in leather and suddenly you’re all hip and cool? You don’t really use words like that, do you?”
    “Of course not. It wouldn’t fit in with my geekiness.”
    “Trev, that’s not what I meant . . .”
    “It’s okay. I know what I am, and I’m okay with it. Maybe someday you will be too.” He squeezes my hand. “I’m okay with not going public. I don’t think my friends would be any more thrilled than yours. So until we see where this is going . . .”
    “Kiss me again,” I say softly.
    “Isn’t this public, though?”
    “We don’t know anyone here, not that I saw.”
    He obliges, ever courteous.
    The freak and the geek.
    What did I get myself into?

9. Tents and Blisters
    I’m going on a camping trip with my family.”
    We’re lying side-by-side on the trampoline behind Trevor’s house, holding hands between our safely distanced bodies. His mom is still not thrilled about me hanging out with Trevor, especially now that she’s seen him holding my hand and putting his arm around me. That definitely makes her skittish. But after our bowling excursion, Trevor’s parents and mine have become quite social, and so she’s marginally accepting. His dad is accepting and always seems slightly amused by us. Todd, of course, is always happy to see me, and I find that the more time I spend with him, the less uncomfortable I am. He’s kind of growing on me.
    “What? When?” I ask.
    “In a couple of weeks.”
    “For, like, the weekend?”
    “No, we’re going for a week.”
    “A week ?” I sit up, and he follows. “But . . .” I trail off and look around his yard as if it might suddenly spring up with little signs answering my questions. “What am I supposed to do without you for a whole week?”
    I feel a little panicky at the thought and tell myself it’s only because I’m going to have a hard time continuing my campaign with him gone.
    “I don’t know. How did you survive before me?” I give him a dirty look and shove him in the chest. He dramatically rolls away from me, doing an entire backward flip over. I try not