Free More Than Him by Jay McLean Page B

she said, turning to face me. She looked down where our bodies joined. "I didn't know that it had to do with that."
    I flipped my hand over. She brushed her palm softly across mine, and then started tracing my fingers with hers. I watched as she focused on what she was doing. "Amanda?" I croaked out. "You don't ever have to apologize, for anything, ever."
    "Why did you come back?" she whispered. Her eyes lifted and I could see it—her pain. "I thought I was getting over it, over you . . . why did you have to come back and ruin everything?"
    She stood up quickly, and started to walk away. I followed, pulling on her arm to stop her. "Baby." The word slipped out, like verbal vomit.
    "Baby?" she rushed out. "Baby," she repeated, louder this time. Then a rage switched on inside her. She'd gone from upset to pissed, in two-seconds flat. "You don't get to call me baby."
    I let go of her arm. "I know, I'm sorry."
    "Are you, though?" she hissed. Her words were harsh, punishing. "Because you're acting as if nothing's changed. But it has. Everything's changed."
    I reached for her again but she’d stepped back, tripping over herself. Her hands came up, as if protecting herself from me. She had no reason to be afraid. "Stop," she breathed out. "Just stop."
    She turned and headed for the door again. Blood rushed to my ears. I blinked, trying to focus. I couldn't let her go. I couldn't lose her. Not again. "Wait!"
    Her body stiffened.
    "Wait. Please," I said. I was begging, and I didn't give a shit.
    She turned quickly, her eyes glazed with tears. "Wait?" she spat out. "Fuck you, Logan, I did wait. I waited for you at the fucking hospital. I waited for you when I got home, and you weren't fucking there. I waited a week before showing up at your house and begging—fucking begging —for you to take me back." She pushed against my chest. I fell back a step. "And then I waited for you to come back to me. But you never did, Logan. You never came back." She wiped her tears and sniffed once, straightening her body. Then she looked me square in the eyes, and through gritted teeth, said, "You just fucking left me."
     
    Her words left me shattered.
     

10
     
    Amanda
     
    My body shook from the anger that overcame me. He had no right.
    I watched the emotion on his face. He looked dejected, broken. Good. Maybe he understood just a small amount of how he’d made me feel.
    His shoulders lifted with each breath, as if struggling to find the air. It felt like an eternity. "Baby," he said again.
    And something in me snapped. I lost control. I didn't mean to do what I did next.
    My palm stung the instant it made contact with his face. I don't know what was louder, the sound of the slap, or my gasp that followed.
    "Shit." I stepped forward. "Logan, I'm so sorry." My hand reached up to cup his face, but his sturdy grip on my forearm stopped me. He pushed my arm away forcefully. I wanted to cry. I'd never want to hurt him, especially not like that.
    "It's fine, Amanda," he croaked.
    I'd broken him.
    I shut my eyes tight and let the tears fall. "Logan." My voice was strained.
    He licked his lip, and then wiped it with the back of his hand. That's when I saw it—blood. It didn't effect me the way it used to. We'd studied something similar in my psych class, and I'd learnt to control it. I'd taught myself how to mentally separate the site of blood from Ethan's accident.
    I cursed under my breath and stepped forward, but he took a step back, afraid of me. I let out a sob. "Logan," I said again. I didn't know what else to say.
    He looked away from me. "I think maybe you should leave. I'll walk you to your car."
    I just nodded and followed behind him. We walked to my car in dead silence. He opened the door for me when I unlocked it. He even made sure I was seated properly before he closed it. But he didn't say a word. I wound down my window and opened my mouth to speak.
    "It's fine," he said, interrupting me. He placed his hands in his pockets and took a step