Free A Fine Family: A Novel by Gurcharan Das Page A

and preferred cold drinks instead. Seva Ram in his easy going way tried to put everyone at ease. He asked Bauji about Lyallpur. He made small talk with Big Uncle. But everyone (except Seva Ram) was clearly uneasy. The Englishman was not stiff but he was unused to such a social situation. He thought everyone was staring at him. Bauji’s family wanted to please him but this only added to his discomfort.
    ‘Did you have a strenuous day?’ asked Chachi.
    ‘Not at all,’ replied Seva Ram with an engaging smile. ‘As a matter of fact it was one of our easier days.’ He looked warmly at the Englishman and then at the Overseer, as he tried to include them in the conversation.
    ‘Don’t trust a word he says. He works like a horse,’ said the Englishman.
    Seva Ram again smiled and Bauji noticed that it was a smile of great sweetness. It was not a flashing or brilliant smile, but a smile he remembered from the ashram which lit his face with an inner light. Seva Ram seemed about to speak but he did not say anything for a long time and the others soon began to find the silence awkward. He looked vacantly in the air, his face grave and intent. They kept waiting, curious to know what it was all about. When he began to speak it was as though he were continuing the conversation without being aware of the long silence.
    ‘Guruji sends his regards to you. He was touched that you came all the way to the ashram.’
    ‘Yes, I too was moved by the atmosphere of the ashram and his message. You will of course stay here with us, won’t you?’
    ‘No, I think I shall stay at the Canal Rest House. It’s quite comfortable and I am here on work after all.’ Seva Ram turned his head and looked at his two colleagues without embarrassment, but with an expression in his eyes that was at once scrutinizing and amused.
    By now Big Uncle was busy telling jokes to the Englishman, who roared with laughter. The atmosphere thawed. Seva Ram, realizing that Bhabo did not speak English, addressed her in Punjabi. He also brought the Overseer into the conversation. Bhabo asked the Overseer about his family, and she looked up occasionally to see if Tara was watching from above. Seva Ram did not expect to meet Tara. He was also too shy to ask for her. Everyone seemed to slowly relax.
    Chachi was struck by the fact that Seva Ram treated his superior and his junior in exactly the same way. He was not excessively deferential to his boss nor haughty or off-hand with his subordinate. He looked them both in the eye in the same sincere way and tried to make them feel equally comfortable. Later, when the visitors had gone Chachi mentioned this to the family. Bauji and the others agreed with her that this was a most remarkable quality. Most Indians, they felt, were very conscious of position and power and did not behave normally either with people above or below them. Seva Ram was indeed exceptional.
    Bauji turned to Seva Ram and asked him about a dilemma that he had been grappling with ever since his meeting with the guru.
    ‘If it turns out that what the guru says is true—that there is a life of the spirit,’ said Bauji, ‘then not to participate in it is clearly wrong. But if it turns out not to be true, then I certainly wouldn’t want to live in this world like a passenger. You see, an old man like me doesn’t have much time left in the world. Whatever little bit I have, I want to savour it. I like being involved. I like this world with all its imperfections. I don’t want to give it up.’
    ‘Bauji,’ replied Seva Ram with a smile, ‘it is a matter of choice. If there is a world of spirit and you do not participate in it, you will have truly lost something. If, on the other hand, there is none, and you remain ignorant of it, then you haven’t lost anything. The third possibility is that if you work hard, meditate and try to attain the Infinite and there turns out to be none, then too you haven’t lost anything except your effort. Finally, if there is