cheek, “Wake up. Wake up! It’s not supposed to happen this way!”
She isn’t smiling. They always smile.
“Wake the fuck up!” I holler as I slap her hard across the cheek. Her head falls to the side from the impact.
I scream at the top of my lungs as I hold the scalpel over my head. I plunge it into her chest, her stomach, arms and legs. The blood splatters all over me. My eyes become clouded with tears as I fall onto my knees and sob.
Everything is falling apart.
12
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
I awake to the sound of running water. The door to the bedroom is ajar, and the bathroom door is closed, rivulets of steam leak through the cracks and pools outside of the door.
Looking around, I see that he’s cleaned up the mess that I’d made days ago. There isn’t any glass on the floor and all of his clothes are neatly folded and stacked on top of the dresser. I run my hand over my neck and feel the collar clamped around my throat. I can only fit a finger through the gap between my skin and the metal.
My fingers run down the chain, which remains attached to the iron bedpost. Looking across the room, my breath catches in my throat when I see a ring of keys lying on the bookshelf.
I scoot from the bed and stand.
Tiptoeing to the shelf, I grasp the keys in my hands, my frantic fingers scanning over each one. I try three of them before the lock of the collar gives way.
I’m free.
My heart is threatening to beat from my chest as I grab one of his t-shirts and pull it over my body. I stop suddenly when I see a metal bat leaning against the wall of his closet. I hold it tightly as I watch the moonlight catch its smooth surface.
Run .
My conscience screams within the walls of my skull to get the fuck out of here. I don’t know why my feet are carrying me towards the sound of water, rather than freedom. As I clutch the bat in my hand, I feel my old self returning, the one that fought her way through hell and survived. The one who promised to never allow another man to harm her after what her father had done.
“You’re a worthless little whore, Dani. No one will ever love you. No-one will ever care.”
Fuck you.
But his lips, his body, his touch.
Shut up.
I open the door quietly, and the steam billows out towards me. As I walk closer to the shower, I see his naked form behind the glass. Water cascades over him as he stands with his forehead pressed against the tiled wall.
I reach towards the door and open it before grasping the bat in both hands. The tiny drops that escape the shower burns when it meets my skin.
The skin of his back is red from the scalding hot water.
I raise the bat over my shoulder as I draw a lungful of air.
“Lies.” He whispers, “Everything has always been a lie.”
I shakily exhale as I will myself to bash his fucking head in. He deserves it. He brought me here. He forced me to feel everything that I’ve avoided for so long. But my feelings twist within me, turmoil mixed with sadness mixed with… whatever it is that I feel for this enigma.
“Where have you been?” I ask as tears collect in my eyes.
He bangs his head against the tile, causing me to jump and the bat crashes against the floor when I lose my grip.
He turns swiftly and I flinch when he grasps my arms, his fingers digging into my flesh as he pulls me into the water with him.
The water burns as it falls over my trembling body, and my forehead throbs as he presses his against mine.
“I can’t be around you. You’re poison.”
“I’m not poison.” I whisper.
An ominous smile spreads across his face as he yanks me from the scalding hot water. “Yes. You have tipped my world upside-down. Everything went to shit when you came along,”
“Y-you’re hurting me.” I stammer as I try and wiggle from his hold.
“Shut up!” He hollers as his fingers tighten even more,