Iâve never been good with blood. When I was six and lost my first tooth while biting into an apple, my mouth filled with blood and I actually fainted. Mom loves telling people that story. A nurseâs daughter, scared of the sight of a little blood, sheâd laugh.
Apparently Iâm not so good with rust either. Did I really sleep like this?
Slowly, clutching my coffee mug to keep warm, I walk up the stairs, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. I have to walk past the bathroom to get to my room, and Mom has left the door open, the lights on. I want to walk right past it without looking in, but I canât help myself; before I know what Iâm doing Iâve turned my head and looked inside. I brace myself for rusty brown stains on the floor, the broken mirror, the scratches on the tile.
But what I see is even scarier. âMom!â I shout, my voice is so loud that it startles me.
âWhat?â she shouts back, running up the stairs. âAre you okay?â
I shake my head. âOf course Iâm not okay,â I answer. My hands are shaking so hard that coffee is splattering out the sides of my cup. She takes it from me, then looks me over like sheâs trying to find a cut or a broken bone, trying to figure out what could have made me shout for her the way I did.
âYouâre spilling this everywhere.â
âDid you . . . did you clean it all up?â I ask, but then I shake my head. She could have wiped up the water, but you canâtscrub away scratch marks. You canât replace a broken mirror at seven in the morning. Beneath my feet the carpet that was damp just a few hours ago is dry. The scent of mildew hangs in the air, but then again, this house always smells damp.
âIâm going to try to, but seriously, Sunshine, coffee leaves a stain. Itâs a good thing this carpet is tan . . .â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âYou splashed coffee all over the carpet,â Mom says, pointing to the floor just outside the bathroom door. I havenât actually stepped inside yet.
I shake my head. âNo, I mean . . . how did the bathroom get like this?â
She sighs. âGet like what? Listen, honey, I know I said I could give you a ride to school, but you really have to get going or else Iâll be late. The way you shoutedâmy gosh, I thought you must have been dying or something. Donât scare me like that.â
âNo,â I say slowly. âIâm not the one who was dying.â
âWhat are you talking about? Is the dog hurt?â
My skin prickles, making me want to scratch myself. âWhat are you talking about?â Mom doesnât answer. Instead, she crouches down and starts blotting the fresh stains on the carpet with a paper towel. A cold chill makes goose bumps blossom on my arms and legs. âWhat do you remember about last night?â
Without looking up at me, she answers, âWe had roast chicken and mashed potatoes with too many lumps in them. We made ice cream sundaes, and you spilled chocolate syrup on your shirt, and we fell asleep on the couch watching The Tonight Show, and now Iâve woken up with a crick in my neck so bad that I think I might have to find a chiropractor.â
I take a step backward, away from the bathroom, away from her.
âThatâs all you remember?â I ask, my voice shaking. âNothing else? Nothing at all?â
âIs there something you think Iâm forgetting?â
Yes.
A scream so bloodcurdling I can still hear it echoing in my ears.
A little girlâs voice begging for mercy.
A darkness so black, it felt like Iâd never see the sun again.
Mom stops blotting, sits on her heels, and looks up at me. âDid you have another bad dream or something?â
Did I have a bad dream? No. It was real. I have the ruined shirt to prove it. But she says the stain on my shirt is chocolate syrup. One of us is going