Free Closing Time by E. L. Todd Page B

dreaming? Did it really happen? I was too far gone to really know, and by the time I woke up the next morning, I couldn’t remember it at all.

5
    Ryan
     
    I was getting married soon. The time was ticking and the days passed by. The sooner the day arrived, the more my skin prickled. Marrying Janice didn’t scare me—at all. There was only one woman I could commit my life to, someone that understood me on such an innate level that I didn’t even understand myself better. She kept me in line and didn’t put up with my bullshit. It was irritating and enjoyable at the same time.
    But the revelation started to resonate within me.
    My whole life I’d been single, and Janice was the first relationship I ever had. There was no one in my past that hurt me, made me fearful of relationships. I just never wanted a girlfriend. I never met a girl that I wanted to spend more than five minutes talking to. They were irritating, clingy, and annoying. I just got what I wanted then got the hell out of there.
    But when Janice stepped into my apartment, looking beautiful and vulnerable, I wanted to know more about her. She was damaged by her lunatic boss, but she stayed strong through the entire thing. And instead of giving up and taking off like my sister, she wanted to fight. My baby was a fighter.
    When people ask me how I knew Janice was the one, I really don’t have an answer. Maybe there is no reason. Perhaps the chemicals in my brain just reacted differently to her because she had a certain scent. Maybe because she was a damsel in distress I automatically wanted to take care of her. Or maybe my soul automatically connected to hers, finding it’s mate. I really don’t know. I’m not emotional or deep. I’m pretty superficial and shallow. I’m not going to lie. The first thing I noticed about Janice was her legs and her rack. My cock was hard and I wanted to fuck her. I admit it. But when she opened her mouth, the rest of my body became interested.
    So why was I nervous?
    Janice was settling for me. We were a perfect match, but I didn’t feel like I was good enough for her. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake. I messed up in our relationship and I wasn’t the most honorable man. I had a crazy mom that was desperate for money, I put tramp stamps on whores, and I barely graduated highschool. If my daughter wanted to date someone like me, I’d lock her up and keep the dog away.
    So, if I loved Janice, should I let her marry me?
    I loved her with my whole heart. A life without her wasn’t worth living. Every thing she did was mesmerizing. I loved watching her sleep, cook in the kitchen, stretch before she went for a run. Sometimes, she would sit at the kitchen table in the morning and stare out the window. Every time I looked there was nothing there, but I still wished I could see what she saw.
    A more incredible woman I’ve never known. My sister was pretty amazing. She’d been through hell and back and she was an inspirational person. Money hadn’t changed her one bit. She was still the down-to-earth girl that kept this family together. She fixed me more times than she knew. But Janice…it was different. She was so strong and independent, so assure of herself and her abiliti es. She could own a room just by walking into it. She had confidence in her intelligence and her beauty, but she was never vain about it. She gave me tough love but was gentle with me when I needed it. There was no better woman for me.
    I loved tattoos and loved seeing them on other people. Each one was unique and different, especially the meaning to the person who inked it permanently on their skin. Every individual was a canvas for artwork, a moving picture. But I could never find something that meant enough to me to mark it on my skin permanently.
    Until Janice.
    The mark on my finger didn’t weigh anything, but yet, it was permanent. I could never remove it before I got into the shower or did the dishes. It was forever marked onto my skin, showing