Free Always by Amanda Weaver Page A

hips.
    “Dillon.”
    “What about him?”
    “You’re going out on tour with him.”
    “We went over this part already.”
    “But not the you and him part.”
    “There is no me and him. I mean, we’re friends. That’s all.”
    “Really?”
    “Really.”
    “And you’re okay with it?”
    Justine shrugged and examined her fingernail. “Sure. I mean, yes, I like him. In a lot of ways. Kind of a lot.”
    “Oh, Justine—”
    “But I’m not dumb. He’s not in that place right now. You should have seen what it was like backstage that night. The drugs, the girls… it was ridiculous. I’m not into that scene.”
    “And he is.”
    Justine nodded. “Right now, yeah. And I can’t really blame him. It sounds like he and Ash struggled for a long time and now they’ve made it. Why shouldn’t they enjoy it? It’s every guy’s dream, right?”
    “But you can’t be with a guy like that. You know yourself.”
    “I know. Which is why nothing’s going to happen. I mean, it could. There’s this vibe, and I’m not crazy, he feels it, too. But I haven’t done anything and he hasn’t either. And I think it’s because… this is going to sound like me justifying him and I don’t mean to. It’s weird, but I don’t think he wants me to be like that. All those stupid, easy groupies.”
    “Every guy wants a stupid easy groupie. Don’t let them fool you.”
    Justine laughed. “He does. I’m not arguing. But I think he wants more with me.”
    “Oh, Jesus,” Emily groaned, “now I really am worried about you!”
    “I mean the other stuff we have might be more important than making me just some conquest, you know?”
    Emily looked immensely skeptical as she blew a curl out of her eyes. “Okay, I’ll give him a little credit for valuing you as more than an easy lay and recognizing your genius talent, because it means he has good taste. But what about you? You still want more with him.”
    Justine shook her head. “Not now. Not like this. I won’t settle for less.”
    “And you’re going to be okay going out on the road with him, close quarters and all that, watching him do the sex, drugs and rock and roll thing up close? Baby sister, I’m worried. This might crush your heart.”
    “Give me a little credit, Emily. When have I ever been that fragile?”
    Emily eyed her beautiful little sister, braver and tougher than she was in so many ways and also about to get herself stomped on. She sighed. “You’re not. And you’re not a thirteen-year-old who needs advice about boys anymore.”
    Justine reached out for her, pulling her in for a tight hug. “I might not need it, but I still appreciate it. And I love that you’re always looking out for me.”
    Emily leaned back and brushed Justine’s bangs out of her eyes. “I always will. Just be careful out there. I know he’s important to you in ways I can’t begin to understand. But you’re important to me and I’ll happily kill the guy if he hurts you.”
    Justine’s expression grew serious. “If he hurts me, it’s nobody’s fault but mine. Because I know exactly what I’m getting into.”

February, 2008
     
    The knock on the hotel room door came just minutes after she’d set her bag down and ditched her shoes. It was the first hotel stop on the tour. For the last week they’d slept on the bus between cities. The cramped quarters combined with back-to-back shows and the chaos of the tour kick-off meant that she’d barely slept, showered in a variety of crummy backstage bathrooms, had eaten nothing but pizza and chips, all while working her ass off every night. Failsafe got two rooms in the hotel and in a rare display of chivalry, the boys had declared they’d bunk together and leave her, the only girl on the tour, with her own room. Her plans had been to soak in a hot shower for a solid half hour, order a huge meal from room service, and then sleep until the show the next night.
    But someone was pounding on her door, which meant a delay in the