Free Deep Surrendering: Episode Nine by Chelsea M. Cameron Page A

Where every desire and whim and feeling is permitted. In the outside world, not everything is safe like that. I don’t even know how it would work, really.” Yeah, that would probably be a strange transition to make.
    “I can imagine. Well, I can’t, because I don’t even know what a place like that would look like. I’ve seen movies and read books and everything, but I don’t know if my imagination is running wild, or if the reality would match the picture in my mind,” I said.
    “You could go, if you wanted to. I’m sure Sapphire would take you around. During the day, when no one’s there.”
    Now there was a proposition.
    “I really don’t think I’m ready for that, Fin.” It made my stomach flutter uncomfortably when I thought about it. Definitely not. Playing with Fin in the bedroom was one thing, but seeing where he’d done things with another woman was too much.
    “You’re probably right. It was just an idea. It’s not as scary as you think, Marisol.”
    There was no way to know for sure, unless I went. “Maybe sometime. But I’ll probably have to be drunk and totally psych myself up for it.”
    He was silent on the other end, and I checked my phone to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. Sometimes international calls could be finicky.
    “Marisol, I need to go. I’ll call you again when I can. I hope you got the answers you needed from Sapphire.”
    I’d gotten some of them, but I didn’t think I’d ever quite unravel the mysteries of Fin Herald. Not in this lifetime, at least.
    “Okay. I love you. Bye, Fin.”
    “Goodbye, Marisol.”
    I lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. I had way too much information banging around in my brain. It was only eight o’clock, but I decided to call it a night and go to sleep. Knowing my thoughts wouldn’t give me a break, I took a sleeping pill to make sure I shut down. I’d get up and deal with everything else tomorrow. For now, I just wanted to sleep and not think for a while.

The pill was a good idea at night when I needed to sleep, but not so much the next morning when I actually had to get up. It was like pulling teeth to get myself out of Fin’s bed. I hadn’t even changed out of my clothes, and my hair was a wreck.
    I stumbled to the coffeemaker and got it going. I’d need at least two cups before I’d even feel remotely human again. I pulled the French vanilla creamer out of the fridge and set it on the counter, sighing.
    Fin needed to come back. Like, yesterday. I needed him here. Things with my mother were starting to look stable, but her mind was only going to deteriorate from here on out, and I didn’t know how to handle that.
    Finally, I had two cups of coffee in me, and I was awake enough to get some food, get dressed, and head to class.
    I wasn’t expecting to hear from Fin, so it didn’t surprise me when he didn’t call the rest of the day. I did, however, get a call from my father. Shit, I was supposed to call him last night.
    He left me a voicemail since I was in class when he called, and I headed outside of the local café on my break to listen to it. I wished I could get him to embrace the text message, but that ship had probably sailed a long time ago.
    I called him back. “Hey, Dad. I’m so sorry I didn’t get back to you. I feel just awful about it.”
    “No, no, it’s fine. I understand you have a life and you’re busy.”
    Well if that didn’t make me feel like shit, I didn’t know what would.
    “It’s not fine, Dad. I should have called.” I sighed and then launched into the information I’d gotten from the woman at the nursing service. “So, if you want, we can set up interviews for tomorrow. Do you want to do them at the house? I think that would be best so they can meet Mom and see everything.” See what they were going to be dealing with, I didn’t say. I hadn’t thought past getting Dad some help. I hadn’t even thought about how my mother was going to take this. Something told me it