Free The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy Page B

looking for from a scene - what you want to be happening in your mind, body and soul as you connect with this wonderful person who wants to take you on this fabulous journey — you'll be all set to explain your desires and move forward to the play of your dreams.

The New Bottoming Book

By: Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy Part Two: Scenes

The Rewards

    Here we are going to share some examples of what has worked for various bottoms based on how they want to get to feel in a particular scene. There will be a lot more detail about how to explore these rewards in actual scenes later in the book, in Chapter 10.

    Getting "In the Flow": There is a sense in BDSM play of getting to a place where everything flows, a sort of slow-motion world where you feel quite sure you are doing it all just perfectly. There is a sense of rightness - everything is as it should be. We can feel the power flowing through both of us, feel all the players in the scene connected in the How of power, we are all flying together. When we get in the flow we feel that we can take any risks, and communication seems easy and obvious.

    One friend of ours, a service-oriented submissive, told us: "When I'm serving, I know what I need to do, it's uncomplicated. 1 love service because its not about me — its about the other person. I seek to make service into an act of love. It turns off all my self-focus and lets me exist in a separate space. When I'm serving at my very best, I'm invisible — an extension of the will of my master."

    Catharsis: Tears of grief tears of joy. Sometimes what you want out of a scene is a purging, to go into overload and let it all out. Maybe there is something happening that you need to cry about, or maybe you just need to clear your feelings out in general. We have deliberately negotiated to play scenes to vent anger or other difficult emotions. Sometimes catharsis is found by bringing out a forbidden part of ourselves, like for instance the crybaby that we were teased for being in childhood. We all value these scenes for the emotional release they bring, and our partners usually value sharing in the process. Next time it might be our partners turn - catharsis works from the top as well as from the bottom. It helps to let prospective partners know that if you burst into tears, or become enraged, its what you want, and that whatever they are doing, its obviously working.

    For example, Dossie recalls an intensely emotional flogging scene at a party that was fueled by the fact that a close friend of both Dossie and her top had died that week of AIDS. She had been an important member of our community, indeed the founder of the Society of Janus, and virtually everybody at the party knew her and was moved by her death.

    As David flogged me, I felt myself go into intense sadness, almost crying, and then felt overtaken by equally intense rage, that seemed to have nowhere to go until I reared up, turned to my top in the presence of a lot of people, and screamed: "You stupid fuck can't you hit any harder than that?" This would be a seriously rude maneuver in most scenes, but we were in the flow and David understood perfectly. Grinning wolfishly, he swung his arm back and gave it all he had. I let my rage pour out, and fell again into sadness, then reared up again screaming in rage, with David flying right along with me. Round and around we went until the rage was satisfied and I fell down crying - he fell right on top of me, and we both cried until we were satisfied. And both agreed that there was something magically right about this scene, that in struggling against each other we had done just what we needed to do for funeral games.

    Spiritual States: Many players report that the feelings they have in playing a great scene can only be described as spiritual. Some people may feel they leave their body, others feel an intense psychic connection, or perhaps an awakening of kundalini, the snake that represents the spiritual energy that can be