Free Nothing Like You by Lauren Strasnick Page B

I kicked the leg on his desk. “So?”
     
    “So, what? So that’s it.”
     
    “That’s it? No more?” I darted my eyes down.
     
    “She was just … she was really warm. And sincere. And people really responded to that, I think.”
     
    I looked back up. He was staring at me.
     
    “Are you sure all you did was kiss?”
     
    Ballanoff shifted around in his seat. “Holly, come on …”
     
    I stared back, searching his face.
     
    “There’s no secret romance, here.”
     
    “Sure thing,” I said, pushing my hair behind my ears, straightening up. “But, so … did you keep in touch? After graduation, I mean.”
     
    “Not really, I mean, I’d see her around on holiday breaks.”
     
    “With Jeff?”
     
    “With Jeff, yeah.” He nodded, downing the last of his diet iced tea.
     
    “What’s this about?”
     
    Just home from my hike with Harry, and Jeff had the huge cardboard photo of my mother from her memorialservice propped against the living room couch. I circled around it, touching its pointed edges.
     
    “I don’t know what to do with it. I was thinking maybe you and Nils would want it out in The Shack.”
     
    I looked at him with crazy eyes. “It’s huge. It’ll take up an entire wall in there. It’ll be like a
shrine
to Mom.” I kicked off my sneakers and padded across the kitchen floor in my socks. “No thank you.”
     
    He threw a chopped pepper into a hot wok. Smoke and oil flew up in front of his face. “Well, I don’t know what to do with it. It’s been in the bedroom for the past seven months and it’s starting to make me agitated.”
     
    I walked over to the stove and picked up a slice of carrot. “Can I eat this?”
     
    Jeff nodded.
     
    “So why not just throw it out?”
     
    He shook soy sauce over the vegetables. “I can’t throw that out, Holly—it’s huge. It’s your mother.”
     
    “It’s not her. It’s a big piece of poster board.” I took another carrot. “Besides, the picture is ugly. She was so beautiful and I love you, but your taste in photographs, not so good.” I went on, my mouth full. “Please, don’t ever do that to me. If I die, I want a nice photo that makes me look really great.”
     
    “Don’t even joke, please. The thought of losing you …”
     
    I grabbed Jeff’s arm. “Oh, I’m kidding, come on.” Hekissed my cheek and I took another carrot. “Why don’t we stick it in the garage for now?”
     
    Jeff nodded. I picked Mom up by her pointy corners and carried her down the front steps and around to the garage. I slid past Jeff’s car and searched for a place to put her. On the other side of the washer there was a little bit of wall space. She’d fit perfectly. I propped her up against a big copper pipe and bent down to kiss her one-dimensional lips. “You’ll have fun down here,” I said to the photograph. “See you next time I do a load of whites.”
     

Chapter 18
     
    After school, I watched from the grassy hill above the parking lot as Paul approached his car. He was alone. I waved, loping forward.
     
    “Holly,” he said, only he didn’t seem excited to see me.
     
    “Did you get my note?” I asked, breathless from the downhill run.
     
    He stuck his key into the car lock and opened the driver’s side door.
     
    “What note?”
     
    “I left a note in your locker on Tuesday. About the psychic? It’s tomorrow, my appointment.”
     
    “That’s great.” He got into his car, shut the door, and rolled down his window. “Thanks, but—I asked in thenote if you could come with me. Remember you said you would come?”
     
    “Oh, yeah, but I can’t. Saskia’s birthday is Sunday and I’m going with her family to Catalina for the weekend. It’s gonna be awesome. We’re camping.”
     
    “Oh.”
     
    He looked so happy about his dumb Catalina plans. Camping with Saskia and her sick brother and I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kick him and hurt him and make him cry, but instead I just stood there,