Free Searching for Beautiful by Nyrae Dawn Page A

not going there. “Nothing. So what’s up with the candy?”
    After shrugging, he pops a couple more into his mouth and then says, “Sweet tooth, I guess. What’s your vice?”
    His question comes out of nowhere. Most people I know wouldn’t ask something like that. “Umm, I don’t know. I guess I don’t have one.”
    Christian snickers. “Not possible. You can borrow mine till you figure yours out, if you want. Gummy bears make the world go round and all that.”
    “Oh my God.” His words are so ridiculous I can’t stop myself from laughing. Hard. Like real, loud belly laughs. I’m almost not sure it’s me at first. “Gummy bears make the world go round? I think you’re pushing it a little. Or a lot.”
    “No way. Have you had these things lately? They’re pretty good. The world would be a much better place if everyone chilled out and indulged in a gummy bear every now and again.”
    “Yeah, might be the answer to ending world hunger.”
    “Screw that. It’s the answer to world hunger and peace.”
    Another spontaneous laugh jumps out of my mouth. A second later, Christian is doing the same.
    “Brynn!” My head turns toward the house as Dad steps outside, frowning. “What are you doing? Who are you talking to?” His voice is firm, holding a sound of…something, I don’t even know what it is, but I’ve never heard it directed at me before.
    “Nothing… No one.” Which is stupid because it’s obviously someone and he’s hanging over my fence with a mouth full of gummy bears. Dad’s head is so red it looks like it might explode.
    “I brought dinner. Time to come in for the night.”
    Time to come inside? It’s seven o’clock and I’m in my backyard. “Umm, okay?”
    Dad’s eyes cut toward Christian, who just pops a few more gummy bears like nothing is going on.
    “It’ll get cold, Brynn,” Dad reminds me. His eyes dart toward Christian, glaring. Then they find me again and he’s looking at me the same way.
    “Yeah…okay.”
    “Catch ya later, Bryntastic.” Christian jumps down from the chair, heads back to his porch, and picks up his guitar again.
    Dad stands there, waiting for me to go inside, which I do. He follows me. “Who is that?” he asks, his voice still tight. I turn to see him lean against the kitchen counter, still not looking like the easygoing dad I know.
    “Christian, a guy from school.”
    “Well, I don’t know if I want you out there talking at night. I’ve never even met the kid.”
    “Huh?” I don’t have to finish my thought when it all comes slamming back into me. Jason. What Dad thinks. “Oh my God. Do you think I’m out to have sex with our neighbor now? I screwed up once and now you think I’m trying to get with every boy in sight?” My eyes sting, but it’s nothing compared to the pinch in my chest.
    “What?” Dad has the nerve to sound surprised. “No, it’s not… I trust… It’s them.”
    “Yeah, obviously.” It’s then I know I was right. He doesn’t believe me. He thinks I lied, that I knew about Jason all along. That’s probably why he let the case go so easily, why he’s even quieter with me. Why he struggles to look at me, and…and probably wishes he and Mom hadn’t chosen me. “I’m not hungry.”
    “Brynn, wait.” Dad’s voice cracks, but it’s too late.
    Without another word, I walk out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and straight for my room.
    And to think, ten minutes ago, I’d actually been laughing. I’d actually felt normal. Somehow, I’d forgotten how bad everything is.
    But now, I remember.

Chapter Fifteen
    Before
    “You and your mom are going shopping today, right?” Diana asks when we pull up in front of my house.
    “Yep. Sorry I couldn’t go with you guys, but you know how Mom is with dances. She wants to go with just her and me.” Which honestly, I don’t mind. I mean, it would have been cool to go with Ellie and Diana, but I like spending time with her, too.
    “It’s okay. You’re lucky she