Free Deep Surrendering by Chelsea M. Cameron Page B

about her graduate studies made me wish I was passionate about something. Well, something other than fucking and obsessively collecting books wherever I went.
    “I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking your ear off,” she said, fiddling with one of her earrings. It was dark, but I could still see the blush that spread on her cheeks.
    “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” She could talk to me about paint drying and I’d listen. She laughed nervously and licked her lips. I wanted to taste those lips. I wanted to do a lot of things with those lips. No, I couldn’t think of her that way. She wasn’t that kind of girl. Marisol was the kind of girl my mother would want me to marry. Sweet. Compliant. Would look the other way when I inevitably strayed from my wedding vows and sought an outlet for my “depravity.” Just like my father did with my mother.
    I didn’t want to think about my father. Thinking about him made me have dark thoughts, and those dark thoughts led to dark desires. I was going to have to visit Sapphire before my trip was out. Of all the women I’d been with, she always seemed to know what I wanted and how to give it to me. Plus, she always seemed to know when I was coming and had a room at her club ready for me. She was worth every cent.
    “So, what about you?” Marisol asked, invading my thoughts of Sapphire. She gripped her drink, twisting it back and forth.
    “What about me, Marisol?” I couldn’t get enough of her name. I loved the way it tasted in my mouth, and the little smile she got whenever I used it.
    “Well, all I know about you is what Rory has told me.”
    “Oh, I’m sure everything was complimentary.” I shot Rory a look across the table, but she was too busy being enthralled by Mr. Lucas Blaine. He wasn’t the kind of fellow I’d pictured her with but the chemistry between the two of them was undeniable.
    “She might have told me a few stories about the two of you getting into trouble when you were younger.” Sometimes I forgot that Rory had dirt on me from my distant past. Thankfully we hadn’t stayed in touch recently, and she was completely unaware of what I’d become.
    I smiled at Marisol and shifted closer to her to gauge her reaction. She leaned closer to me and dropped her voice. “Well, from what she said, you got into a lot of trouble.” If only she knew.
    “Sometimes I did. Sometimes I was able to talk my way out of it.” I couldn’t take my eyes off her lips.
    “Oh, I bet you did.” She laughed softly.
    We talked for a while longer about mundane things. Silly, unimportant things. Rory and Mr. Lucas Blaine made their exit, followed by Sloane, and then it was just me, Marisol, and Chloe, who was radiating protective energy at me. She didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t going to do anything with Marisol. I was going to be charming and take her on dates and pay for dinner and open doors and be a perfect gentleman. Plus, I could flirt mercilessly with her, which would be highly entertaining. Maybe even better than sex. Verbal intercourse was highly underrated, in my opinion.
    I could do this. I’d date Marisol and flirt with her and that would be enough. It had to be enough. I couldn’t take this sweet girl by the hand and lead her down the path that I’d chosen to follow. A path littered with shadows and gnarled trees that were covered in thorns that would tear her apart slowly and reduce her to nothing.
    I would not let that happen. If I took things too far, pushed too hard, then I would bow out. Leave. Push her away to keep her intact. I would not wreck this one.
    “It’s getting late,” Marisol said, glancing at her phone. “I should probably call it a night.” She shifted, as if she knew that she should go but didn’t want to. I didn’t want her to go either. Well, I wanted her to go, but I wanted to be going with her.
    “You’re right. But I would definitely like to see you again.” She smiled and grabbed my phone where it rested on the table, typed