Free The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie Page B

smells like somebody vomited on a big old cinnamon tree.
    "What are you looking at?" she asks me.
    "I'm looking at an anorexic," I say.
    A really HOT anorexic, I want to add, but I don't.
    "I'm not anorexic," she says. "I'm bulimic."
    She says it with her nose and chin in the air. She gets all arrogant. And then I remember there are a bunch of anorexics who are PROUD to be skinny and starved freaks.
    They think being anorexic makes them special, makes them better than everybody else.
    They have their own fricking Web sites where they give advice on the best laxatives and stuff.
    "What's the difference between bulimics and anorexics?" I ask.
    "Anorexics are anorexics all the time," she says. "I'm only bulimic when I'm throwing up."
    Wow.
    SHE SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY DAD!

    There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to
    make the pain go away.
    Penelope gorges on her pain and then throws it up and flushes it away. My dad drinks his pain away.

    So I say to Penelope what I always say to Dad when drunk and depressed and ready to
    give up on the world,
    "Hey, Penelope," I say. "Don't give up."
    Okay, so it's not the wisest advice in the world. It's actually kind of obvious and corny.
    But Penelope starts crying, talking about how lonely she is, and how everybody thinks
    her life is perfect because she's pretty and smart and popular, but that he's scared all the time, but nobody will let her be scared because she's pretty and smart and popular.
    You notice that she mentioned her beauty, intelligence and popularity twice in one
    sentence?
    The girl has an ego.
    But that's sexy, too.

    How is it that a bulimic girl with vomit on her breath can suddenly be so sexy? Love and lust can make you go crazy.
    I suddenly understand how my big sister, Mary, could have met a guy and married him
    five minutes later. I'm not so mad at her for leaving us and moving to Montana.
    Over the next few weeks, Penelope and I become the hot item at Reardan High School.
    Well, okay, we're not exactly a romantic couple. We're more like friends with potential. But that's still cool.
    Everybody is absolutely shocked that Penelope chose me to be her new friend. I'm not
    some ugly, mutated beast. But I am an absolute stranger at the school.
    And I am an Indian.
    And Penelope's father, Earl, is a racist.
    The first time I meet him, he said, "Kid, you better keep your hands out of my daughter's panties. She's only dating you because she knows it will piss me off. So I ain't going to get pissed.

    And if I ain't pissed then she'll stop dating you. In the meantime, you just keep your trouser snake in your trousers mid I won't have to punch you in the stomach."
    And then you know what he said to me after that?
    "Kid, if you get my daughter pregnant, if you make some charcoal babies, I'm going to disown her. I'm going to kick her out of my house and you'll have to bring her home to your mommy and daddy. You hearing me straight, kid? This is hi on you now."
    Yep, Earl was a real winner.
    Okay, so Penelope and I became the hot topic because we were defying the great and
    powerful Earl.
    And, yeah, you're probably thinking that Penelope was dating me ONLY because I was
    the worst possible choice for her.
    She was probably dating me ONLY because I was an Indian boy.
    And, okay, so she was only semi-dating me. We held hands once in a while and we
    kissed once or twice, but that was it.
    I don't know what I meant to her.
    I think she was bored of being the prettiest, smartest, and most popular girl in the world.
    She wanted to get a little crazy, you know? She wanted to get a little smudged.
    And I was the smudge.
    But, hey, I was kind of using her, too.
    After all, I suddenly became popular.
    Because Penelope had publicly declared that I was cute enough to ALMOST date, all of
    the other girls in school decided that I was cute, too.
    Because I got to hold hands with Penelope, and kiss her good-bye when she jumped on
    the school bus to go