Free Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham Page A

common undertaking. I never did.”
    I am one of two daughters of Marcus and Jean Hoyle. One of the most tender and intimate moments that I remember with my beloved daddy was sitting out on the back steps one evening. I was between his legs, and he had his arms around my neck. Mother had just undergone a hysterectomy. Dad, in a very gentle, poignant voice, said to me, “You know, honey, you’re the only little boy I’ll ever have.”
    Now, I can’t remember trying to be a tomboy to please my daddy. But I was the ultimate in tomboys! There were a lot of boys in our neighborhood, and they would congregate in our yard to play. If we played cowboys and Indians, you can be very sure that Anabel was the chief. If we played cops and robbers, I was the sheriff. I even remember daddy tying ropes in the mulberry tree so that I could be Tarzan. And neither of them ever said anything like, “Anabel, when are you going to grow up and start acting like a little lady?”
    I was playing Lord of the Ring, forming patterns for male-female interaction and relationships to get their acceptance (I thought ) and generate self-esteem. My patterns were not very acceptable ones to the males.
    At Howard Elementary School, of course, the most important subject of the day was recess. This particular time, we were running races down under the hill. I can remember telling mother and daddy at the supper table how I had beaten Mervin McConnell in races that day. I’m sure they responded favorably. But that was not the ultimate. The ultimate was the time when I told them that I had beaten Joe Harold West in races. Why? Well, Joe Harold was my boyfriend! Sigh. (Stage whisper from Bill: To put this in perspective, Joe Harold became an all-state running back at dear ol’ Poteau High.)
    Eighth grade. Everyone anticipated the annual trek up Cavanal Mountain in the spring. I had a new boyfriend, Robert Henry Kendrick. Of course, he didn’t know it, and I had to impress him. How was I going to do that? Why, the same way that I had been impressing boys since the days in our backyard. I was going to do whatever he did as well as he did it or better! Robert Henry was definitely the “leader of the pack.” But guess who was by his warm side all the way up the mountain? Anabel. I still remember the two of us sitting on the big rocks that overlook Poteau Valley. I don’t remember verbatim what he said, but it was something to this effect: “You’re quite a mountain climber.” He had noticed me. My heart sang! But my joy was short-lived. He carried Joan Caldwell down the mountain because she had a blister on her poor little foot! (Stage whisper: Anabel could’ve carried both of ’em down the mountain.)
    I began to see things in the movies about this time that made a definite impression on me. Names that you may not recognize—Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart—were my stars. I liked what I saw. One movie had a profound effect on my life, Mrs. Miniver, with Greer Garson and Walter Pidgeon. Why? Well, I saw two people as man and wife who had fun together; they respected each other; they were tender and loving; they were kind and considerate. I wasn’t seeing this in my home. Mother and dad had a stormy relationship. I started thinking, Maybe this being a woman isn’t all that bad. I began to see that I was something very special, something very beautiful—a woman.
    But the patterns I’d developed for interacting with males and that Bill had developed for interacting with females were going to lead us into a self-destructive marriage.
Self-Destructive Marriage
    As you can see, Anabel and I developed very different kinds of flesh. During our courtship, however, I was careful to keep all my undesirable, critical-toward-women behavior under wraps, especially with Anabel. I treated her like a queen. You see, she is a beauty, and it fed my masculinity needs to be number one in her life. But after the marriage, when I got her into the castle with the