He’s not really making his case with that point. I’d pay good money to watch Drew finally get nailed for something. Drew’s mom is the sweetest woman on earth, but there’s one person who can piss her off like no one else and he’s standing in front of me, begging for a stay of execution, or maybe just a stay of castration. I won’t say no. He knew it when he came here. The asking is just a formality. I never say no to Drew.
I walk over to the car and open the passenger door. I try to wake her up and ask if she can walk into the house. She stirs a little and opens her eyes. I’m not even sure they focus on me and then her head drops forward onto her chest like it’s too heavy for her to hold up and I know there’s no way she’ll be walking anywhere. She barely even moves when I drag her out of the seat and pick her up to carry her into the house.
“Shit, Drew,” I mutter.
He leans against his car and exhales. “True story.”
***
Nastya
When I pry my eyes open, it takes me a minute to try to figure out where I am. And I do try, really try, to figure out where I am and I have no freaking clue and that seriously scares the crap out of me. I reach up to brush my hair back out of my eyes so I can look around and attempt to determine what the hell is going on. The only three things that I know for certain took place last night are that one —small elves climbed up my body and tied my hair into a mass of tiny knots, two —I must have slept with my mouth open because something crawled into it and died and three —I was sucked through a vortex into some animated world where an anvil was dropped on my head.
I lift my hand to my forehead and press, trying to relieve some of the pounding as I attempt, not without effort, to sit up. I’m on someone’s couch. Someone’s couch. Someone’s couch . And as soon as I remember, I’m wishing I could forget.
“Good morning, Sunshine!” Josh Fucking Bennett. By now, I’m pretty sure that if I were to find his birth certificate that is exactly what it would say. I don’t have time to figure out why I’m here or what he’s playing at with the fake, overwrought cheeriness, because he doesn’t even take a breath and I wonder if the real Josh Bennett has been abducted by aliens, or maybe the elves carted him off after they got done with my hair. “I’m glad you’re awake. I was starting to worry that you might not be feeling well. You know, with all the projectile vomiting last night.” I wince, from either physical pain or embarrassment, I’m not sure which. He sees my discomfort but it doesn’t stop him. I think he might actually be encouraged. “No, don’t you worry your pretty little head over it,” he says with mock sincerity, then pauses, looking me over. “Well, today, maybe not so pretty, and last night, definitely not so pretty, but still, don’t worry about it. It only took four or five towels to soak it up and I think the smell will go away after a day or two. Hopefully it won’t stick that badly to your hair. I did what I could, but a ponytail probably would have been helpful.” Josh Bennett cleaned up my puke. Fabulous. He’s getting even now and having far too much fun doing it. I can’t decide which is worse, angry dad Josh Bennett or sarcastic, mocking Josh Bennett. I’d like to punch them both in the throat right now but I’m not sure I can lift my arm.
Why the hell am I here? The last I knew, I was with Drew, at an overcrowded party, drinking something that tasted suspiciously not like alcohol. I look down at myself, eternally grateful for the fact that I am still wearing the same clothes I was in last night, even if they have what I am now sure is throw up splattered on them. At least Josh Bennett didn’t have to strip me and let me wear his boxer shorts. The thought gives me little comfort. Maybe because I’m just now realizing that, while my clothes are still on, my bra is suspiciously MIA. I try to look
Stella Noir, Roxy Sinclaire