Free The Good Girl by Dawn Robertson, Lily White Page B

see something that was so obvious to him?
    Maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t think clearly in between the voices screaming at me and the alcohol that had kept me so clouded that I never realized I was so fucked up and beyond repair.
    Blinking my eyes rapidly, I tried desperately to keep from passing out - but it simply wasn’t working. The darkness was slowly taking over as the demons screamed at me. I deserved everything I got; and, for once, I couldn’t argue with them. I realized as I stared down into the dirty water, as the acrid smell of bile rose up to burn at my nose, that I was a pathetic waste of life – an abuser – nobody better or worse than the man that held me.
    I heard a noise and turned my head to lock my gaze with green green eyes just as the world went dark.
     

Chapter Fourteen
    ~ Gabriel ~
    The music soothed me when I sat in the living room, comfortably relaxed against the back of the black leather couch. I listened while Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor drifted softly from the speakers. It drowned out the chaos, the burning need to commit violence, to dominate and control. It was an urge that never seemed to stop after I had her.
    Before, when she was nothing more than a fascination I watched from behind the screen of a computer, they whispered. Small fragments of thought that toyed with my emotions, my control over myself. But now, with the smell of her on my skin and the knowledge that she was bound and helpless in a room on the other side of a wall, I imagined her bent over the toilet, staring at the shame of her disease. Hers was chosen, not mine. I suffered as a result of two bastard people who thought drugs were more important than the lives of those around them.
    Ever since the accident that took the lives of my parents and burned my body to a point of having to cover it in inked designs, I hid inside myself – trapping myself within the walls of the home left behind by a family now dead and buried. Memories attacked me when I turned the corner: The sound of my mother’s voice calling out to me playfully as I ran away laughing; my father picking me up to throw me on his shoulders so that I could pretend I was strong and grown like him. Every so often the phantom image of a young carefree boy would tear past me and the emptiness inside my chest ached painfully when I realized that the boy never walked away from the car accident that took his parents that day. Sure, his physical body survived, but his mind was forever altered and fractured until there was nothing left but the shell of a broken and obsessed man.
    I didn’t see it coming. The driving need to dominate another person, the predilection for pain inflicted on another person. I wasn’t born like this. I never heard the voices that sought to destroy me by making me destroy everything around me. Up until that crash, I was a mild mannered person who enjoyed the simple things – a child who still believed in the magic of life. But my innocence was stripped with my sanity and now I have constant companions that only reveal themselves to me. The doctors I was dragged to daily believed it was trauma to my head that caused the psychosis, but I knew differently. It was the ghosts of those demons. They took my family and followed me home that day – they whispered to me relentlessly and now that I had Eleni trapped within my nightmare, they were screaming.
    My fists met the wall as I paced along the halls. I tried to focus on the music; the soothing beats and the soft swish of harmony floating up to awaken the neurons inside my mind. But those beautiful notes were drowned by the growl emanating from my chest, resonating through my body and up my throat until it escaped as an explosive scream tearing from my lips. I dropped to my knees, my hands becoming a vice grip around my skull and when I closed my eyes against the violence I wanted to bestow upon the small girl chained to a toilet in the other room, my cock hardened and throbbed.
    Her