Free The Culmination by Lauren Rowe Page B

most?”
    “What?”
    “When he tells them they’re as big as an exceptionally large condo.”
    I laugh and groan at the same time.
    “But lucky for me—and you —I happen to like women who are as big as exceptionally large condos. As evidenced by my twenty-inch boner.” He runs his hands over my belly and nuzzles into me. “You know I’ve had a nonstop hard-on for you since our conversation in the backyard? Damn, that was hot. Have you ever seen a boner this big in your entire life?” He lifts up the sheet.
    I don’t mean to do it, but I yawn.
    “Wow.”
    I laugh through my yawn. “I’m sorry.”
    “My dick has elicited a myriad of different reactions in its time—from exclamations of awe and wonder to shrieks of mortified terror and shock—but that’s the first time it’s inspired a fucking yawn .”
    “I’m sorry, baby. I just feel so fatigued tonight,” I say.
    He touches my face. “Should I be worried?”
    “No. Gracie just wore me out today.”
    “That girl’s a bossy little thing—just like her auntie.”
    “Faster, Unkie Jo Jo!” I say, laughing. “Unkie Jo-Jo-Dah-Clehn!”
    “ Stop .”
    I giggle. “But it’s so funny.”
    “It’s not funny.” He kisses my neck and pokes me with his erection.
    I exhale in total exhaustion. “Jeez, I can’t even imagine how tiring it’s going to be chasing two monkeys around every single day.”
    “Well, we’ll get a nanny. Obviously.”
    We’ve never talked about this. Up until now, Jonas has steadfastly avoided talking specifics about our future, much to my confusion and frustration. “Is that so?” I say. I squint at him, trying to decide if he’s joking—but he looks one hundred percent serious.
    “Of course. And a night-nurse, too. At least for the first year.”
    Huh. He’s definitely serious. “You’re an amusing fellow, you know that?” I say.
    “What? What’s amusing about that?”
    “We don’t need a night-nurse. Who are we? The Kennedys?”
    “What are you talking about? Any sane person who can afford to hire a nanny and a night-nurse for twins does it. Why suffer unnecessarily?”
    “ Suffer ? Taking care of my own children doesn’t count as suffering , Jonas . ” I can’t keep indignation out of my voice.
    “That’s not what I meant.” He exhales, apparently trying to gather his thoughts. “Josh just gave me a few things to think about, that’s all.” He pauses, apparently trying to figure out how to articulate something. His face softens with earnestness. “Josh and I had Mariela,” he says quietly. “And we loved her. But that didn’t mean my mom was any less of a great mom.”
    My heart is in my throat.
    “There’s nothing wrong with having help—and more people to love. Nothing at all.”
    I bite my lip. I don’t know what to say. Occasionally, at times like these, I’m reminded that, in some important ways, Jonas and I had vastly different childhoods.
    He shifts gears. “You saw Little G today. She was a fucking hurricane—did you see how she spilled her crackers all over the floor? Jesus. Just imagine when we have two little hurricanes tearing through the house . ”
    “It’s gonna be insanity.”
    “So why not have some help?”
    I sigh. I’m not certain how I feel about that, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have to figure it out right now.
    “We’re gonna need a live-in housekeeper, too,” Jonas continues matter-of-factly.
    “Oh, really?”
    “Yes. That one’s non-negotiable.”
    “Oh, the lord-god-master hath spoken?”
    “Yes. On this, yes. I need a well-ordered environment.”
    I laugh. “Well, good luck with that when the babies come.”
    Jonas looks earnest.
    “Okay, baby,” I concede. “No argument here. I don’t have any particular need to do housekeeping, especially according to your standards of excellence .”
    “Okay. Good.” His face lights up. “A housekeeper for sure; a nanny for sure; and a night-nurse to be negotiated.”
    “Oh, this is a negotiation,