Free Beyond Justice by Joshua Graham Page B

in front of Pastor Dave, but that is exactly what I did.  I didn’t have enough fight left in me to hold back.  I held my head in my in hands and just let it all out.
    "Sam, I know that the doctors can’t do much for him now.  But I have seen people healed of incurable diseases and conditions."  I didn’t answer.  Just let him talk while I regained my composure. At the same time I felt a rising curiosity. "I’ve seen people healed through faith and prayer."
    "The last time you all prayed for me, I got arrested."
    "True."
    "Look Dave.  No offense, but I don’t think anyone can know how trivialized ‘religious encouragement’ feels unless they’ve lost someone close."
    "You’re right," Dave said.  "But I do know."
    "How’s that?"
    "Didn’t Jenn ever mention it?"
    "What?"
    "About ten years ago, I lost my wife and son to a drunk driver."
    Sometimes you just don’t see it coming, when you’re about to be proven wrong.  All this time, I thought no one could possibly understand my pain.  And Pastor Dave, great a guy as he was, could only spout quaint platitudes.   I realized that there were many more lessons to learn in life.   "I’m really sorry, Dave." 
    He let out a long breath.  "It’s all right.  Long time ago."
    After a short silence, I stood up and asked him if he wouldn’t mind coming with me to the backyard.  Jenn’s flower bed had become overgrown and I thought if we worked on something—anything, like pulling weeds—it would take the edge off the awkwardness.
    "Blue Wonders are some of the heartiest plants," Dave said.
    "Grow like these," I said, pulling a scraggy weed from within the patch.  It never stood a chance against the Blue Wonders.
    Quietly, we continued to work until finally he spoke again.  "The guy actually accelerated past the stop sign after hitting Lisa and the baby.  He crashed into a street lamp, killing himself."
    All I could do was shake my head.  Not only had he walked this same road, he was miles ahead of me.
    "I was a mess," Dave said, his features darkened.  "Of course I was devastated, but I was angry too.  Angry at that idiot driver, angry at myself.  I was even angry with God."
    I straightened up, wiped the sweat from my brow.  November afternoons in San Diego can be pretty hot.  "You? Angry at God?"
    "Yeah.  I had just retired from the Corps.  Just dedicated my life to ministry."  He too stopped and wiped his brow.  "After the burial, I tore up my seminary application and shook my fist at God.  But I was told that it was okay to be angry with Him.  He can take it.  And there’s no use trying to hide anything from Him anyway."
    "So what did you do?"
    "I stayed away for a while.  Couldn’t understand why God would allow this to happen to his children.  Why didn’t He protect my family?"  He caught a particularly tough weed and yanked twice before it came out at the root. Rubbing the back of his neck, he walked over to the fence that separated our properties.  He reached for a garden shovel in his yard and started digging up more weeds from Jenn’s Red Riding Hoods.
    "After all that," I said, "how could you return to your faith, much less become a pastor?"
    "Well, that’s a story that could take all night to tell."
    "I might just ask you about it one day."
    "Sure thing," he said and glanced at his watch.  "But I have to get going now."  I stood up, removed my gloves, put them back in a supply box and stood at the back door.   Dave put his shovel back over the fence and came to my side.  "Hey, this is your first holiday without them.  I know how empty that feels.  Why don’t you come over for dinner?  The group would love to see you again."
    "No proselytizing?"
    Dave smiled and patted my back.  "Just dinner and company."  They’d never really done that, but I just wanted to make sure.  Old habits.

 
    Chapter Sixteen
     
    When I arrived next door, the first thing I noticed was how warm and inviting Dave’s home was.  He’d