Free Preservation by Rachael Wade Page B

I threw my head back with complete abandon. I could feel him swelling inside of me, getting close, grabbing the headboard with one hand for leverage. “ Ahhh , Kate...fuck...” Seconds later we found our release together, sending the room into a dizzying spin. He collapsed on top of me and rolled sideways, tossing an arm over his forehead with an exhausted sigh.
    Turning to face one another, we stared in silence, shadows floating in from the window’s moonlight, dancing across our faces. I traced the shapes and patterns over his cheeks and neck, following them with soft kisses.
    “What is it about you?” he whispered, the saddest smile drifting from one corner of his mouth to the other.
    I ran my index finger over his lips and down under his chin, settling at the hollow of his throat. “You’re not what they’re all saying you are, are you?”
    “That’s your gift in your work. Perception.”
    I smiled curiously, propping myself up to give him my full attention.
    “Perception, instinct. It’s a part of who you are, why I feel I know you so well. That’s what comes through in your writing. It’s the only explanation for why you’re here with me right now.” Letting his hand drift over my hip, he pulled the sheet up to cover my skin. “What do you see when you look at me?”
    My eyes narrowed and I pressed my lips together, weighing my thoughts. All of his bimbo admirers aside, what did I see? What did my gut tell me about this man? What did it say that allowed me to wind up here with him, under such impulsive circumstances?
    “You’re a sad man,” I swallowed. “You’re arrogant and set in your ways, but that creates a fortress for you. It’s your safe haven. Behind the moat is someone who has lost something he loved, only I’m not sure what, or who. You’re afraid of something and your loyalty is hidden away in a cell, wounded by betrayal.” I rested my head on the pillow. “That’s what I see.”
    “On second thought,” he exhaled, letting his head drop next to mine. “You’re psychic.”
    “Tell me.”
    “What do you want to know?”
    “Everything.”
    “There’s a lot to tell.”
    “Start with the basics.”
    “Alisha was my girlfriend. We broke up a few months ago and it’s been off and on again for a while. She called it off for good just recently, but apparently she felt like coming around today. I tried my damndest to make things work, but she wouldn’t let me forget the mistakes I made, who I was before her. Eventually I gave her what she was looking for. I returned to my old ways and burned her, very deliberately. I really fucked up, Kate.”
    “Who were you? Before her?”
    “A sad man who’d lost something he loved. Only I used that as an excuse to get away with selfish behavior, taking down anyone and everyone with me, any way I could.”
    “At least you can admit it. I can’t do that. I just live in denial and go on as I please.”
    “No, I’m just a coward. I didn’t fight, just handed over my love and then gave up.”
    Pulling the sheet higher up my body, I reached over to hold his hand. “What did you lose?”
    “A dream. My passion. For something that was never real to begin with.”
    Squeezing his hand tighter, I could hear the pain and defeat in his voice. Before I opened my mouth to respond, the sound of the front doorknob turning jolted me upward, my stomach dropping when I heard Carter’s voice.
    Whispering loudly, he called out for me. “Kate? Sorry I’m late, but I’m here.”

8. DISCIPLINE
    “Who is it?” Ryan whispered when he saw the panic wash my face.
    “A friend. Hurry, get dressed,” I flew out of bed and grabbed my clothes from the floor, dashing into the bathroom. When I came out, Ryan was standing there still shirtless, in all of his taut, chiseled glory, zipping up his pants, right when Carter wandered into the tiny bedroom. It was way too tiny to house the three of us.
    “Carter,” my voice was still a whisper, my eyes glued to