Free A Broken Cowboy (BWWM Interracial Romance) by Renee Phillips Page A

how I felt, let alone talk about it.”
    “Try to figure out what words go with what you feel, and then you can start to climb up over on top of the words and put them back where they belong.”
    Gabriel reached out his hand and slowly put it through the doorway, holding it out for Mimi to take. She put her hand in his and let their arms hang in the space between.
     
     
    CHAPTER NINE
     
    Mimi and Gabriel slept that way, stretched out on either side of the open doorway, their hands linked in the middle. She had gotten up and made them both something to eat at some point, and they ate their dinner on either side of the front wall of the cabin. She had gotten them each a blanket and a pillow when it got to be too dark and too tiring to keep sitting. But she was still surprised by the sight of Gabriel in the morning, certain that he would have slunk off to his own bed somewhere when the hard floor got to be too uncomfortable.
    Instead, he lay motionless on his back, his eyes closed, his hand still holding tightly to hers even as he slept. She dared not move, afraid to startle him, afraid to send him running away in fear and shame. So Mimi laid there patiently watching Gabriel, waiting for him to wake up. When he did wake, he didn’t move or open his eyes. He simply spoke.
    “The word that describes how I’m supposed to feel is ‘hero.’ But I don’t feel like one. I feel like a coward.”
    How he knew she was awake was a mystery to Mimi, but this wasn’t the time to question him. “Why don’t you feel like a hero?” she asked with a soft voice, holding very still and watching his face intently.
    “Because I killed a lot people who never saw it coming. It’s one thing to fight with another person, but a sniper shoots them from far away, from a hiding place. Some of the guys I killed…I shot them in the back. Like a coward.”
    So many thoughts raced through Mimi’s mind, empty words and assurances that wouldn’t mean anything coming from someone who’d never experienced the turmoil that Gabriel was drowning in. She simply held his hand tighter and waited.
    Instead of talking more about it, Gabriel turned his head and looked at her. “I don’t know why you don’t think I’m a monster.”
    “Who says I don’t?” she teased quietly.
    “I can just tell. You like me,” he said devilishly, drawing out and emphasizing the word “like” the way a middle school girl would, making Mimi laugh lightly at his joke.
    “Okay, fine, I admit it. I sort of like you. You know, like, like-like you,” she said, keeping his joke going.
    “Good,” he answered, closing his eyes again.
    “Oh no you don’t, mister, you don’t get me to admit that I like you and then you don’t say anything,” she laughed. “Don’t make me get my best friend to ask your guy friends if you like-like me, too!”
    Gabriel actually laughed, only the second time Mimi had ever heard him. His face lit up when he did in a way that stunned her for a moment. It was enough to make a woman want to spend the rest of her life making him laugh, just to be able to see that face again.
    “I like-like you,” he finally said, slightly out of breath.
    “Good. Now let’s eat breakfast.” While Mimi busied herself putting some kind of meal together, Gabriel got up and tended to the horses, leading them to higher grass and tying them off on a tall scrub. He came back and asked Mimi to fill one of the tubs with water for them, which she did while the corn fritters she’d stirred together cooked in the skillet.
    After breakfast, Gabriel suggested they ride the horses back to where they’d been staying so the animals could eat, offering to keep watching them until Mimi had food and a place for them to bed down. She washed up and changed clothes, then headed out into the bright morning to ride.
    Once they were away from the imposing weight of the small cabin, Gabriel took a deep breath and turned his face up to the sunshine, like someone freed from a