Free Zoya by Danielle Steel Page B

came as Alexandra was helping Dr. Botkin tend to Anastasia, and she flew from the room to talk to him, praying that he would tell her none of it was true, but at the sound of his voice she knew instantly that it was, beyond any hope. Their life and their dreams, along with his dynasty, were shattered. He promised to return as soon as possible, and as always, inquired lovingly about the children. And the following night, Sunday, General Kornilov came from St. Petersburg to see if she needed anything, medicines, or food, and her first thoughts were for the soldiers. She begged him to help supply the hospitals with medicine and food. After caring for them for so long, she could not forget them now even though they were no longer “her” soldiers. He assured her that he would, and something about his visit suggested to her that there was worse to come. She warned Nagorny that night not to leave Baby's side, and she sat with her daughters long into the night. It was after midnight when she finally went to her own room, and the old Countess knocked softly at her door and brought her a glass of tea. She saw that there were tears in the younger woman's eyes and gently patted her shoulder. “Is there anything I can do for you, Alix?” She shook her head, still proud, still austere, andthanked her with her eyes. “I only wish he would come home. Suddenly … I'm afraid for the children here.” Evgenia was too, but she didn't want to admit it to her young cousin.
    “We are all standing by you.” But the “all” was such a precious few, a handful of old women and loyal friends who could be counted on one hand. They had been deserted by everyone, the blow was almost too much to bear. But she knew she could not break now. She had to remain strong for her husband. “You must get some sleep now, Alix.”
    Alexandra looked around her famous mauve bedroom nervously and then glanced sadly at the old woman. “I have some things I want to do … I must …” She could hardly bare to say it. “I want to burn my diaries tonight … and my letters … who knows if in some way they will use them against him.”
    “Surely they can't …” But as Evgenia thought of it, she found that she agreed with Alexandra. “Would you like me to stay with you?” She didn't want to intrude, but the Empress looked so devastated and so lonely.
    “I would like to be alone, if you don't mind.”
    “I understand.” And she quietly left Alexandra to her unhappy task. She sat by the fire until morning, reading letters and journals, and burning even her letters from her grandmother Queen Victoria. She burned everything, except her correspondence with beloved Nicholas, and for two days she felt the pain of it, until Wednesday when General Kornilov returned and asked to speak with her alone. She met him downstairs in one of the rooms Nicholas often used. She stood tall and proud, and attempted toconceal her shock and pain as she listened to what he said. She was being put under house arrest, along with her family and her servants and her children. She wanted not to believe his words, but it was inevitable now. The end had come, and they all had to face it. He explained carefully that anyone who wished to remain with them could, but if they chose to leave, they would not be allowed to return to Tsarskoe Selo. It was staggering news, and it took all of her strength not to swoon as she listened.
    “And my husband, General?”
    “We believe he will be here by morning.”
    “And will you imprison him?” She felt physically ill as she asked, but she had to know now. She had to know all of it, what they could expect and what they were facing. And after the tales she had heard in the past few days, she supposed she should be grateful that they weren't all killed, but in the face of what was happening it was difficult to be grateful.
    “Your husband will be under house arrest here at Tsarskoe Selo.”
    “And then?” She looked deathly pale as she asked, but