Free Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton Page A

way back to the original series, in what they call "the museum of the future." It's the largest collection of Star Trek props in the world, and it's a Trekkie's wet dream. For me, it is the first stop on a trip through time. Behind thick panes of glass, I see tricorders and PADDS that I may have held one or more times during my years on the show. I see costumes that I remember being worn by guest stars or my fellow cast members. It's a very surreal experience to see these relics of my youth on display in a museum.
    We take our time, looking at all the props, reading all the plaques. Every item we see sparks a memory and Anne patiently listens to all of the stories that go along with them. Imagine sitting through your crazy Aunt Dorothy's vacation slides. It's like that.
    We finally make our way to the end of a short line of people waiting to get into the ride. We are in a passageway, standing right next to a large display about the Klingon Empire. A visual record of Klingon history plays on a monitor, next to a display featuring weapons and costumes worn by Michael Dorn. I look at them, and I can hear Michael's deep voice as he whines about how uncomfortable his makeup is. I smile to myself.
    The Experience is closed to the public, so all the people in this line are hardcore Trekkies, most of them in costume. The people ahead of us are wearing Next Generation Starfleet uniforms. We exchange greetings, as a group of Trekkies dressed as Klingons arrive behind us.
    My Trekkie sense begins to tingle again.
    There is a certain psychology that inhabits the minds of people who dress up like Klingons . . . they tend to be very extroverted and a little obnoxious from time to time. These Klingons fit that description completely. Before long, they've begun an argument with the people in front of us. Something about Klingon honor versus the Federation's Prime Directive. The whole thing is amusing to me, but it's beginning to scare my wife. I forget that she hasn't been around this type of thing for years, like I have.
    The argument escalates, and both groups try to get me on their side.
    "Wil! You were in Starfleet !" the "Federation" fans say. "Surely you're with us!"
    The "Klingon" fans grunt and snarl at me in what I imagine is the Klingon tongue. One of them shows off a dangerous looking Klingon batleth .
    Of course, I side with my now completely freaked-out wife: "I gotta go, you guys."
    Anne and I step out of line and head down to Quark's for a drink. We end up talking with Garret Wang (an actor from Voyager ) for a while. He's a super nice guy, very funny and friendly. Even though we've never met before, we get along instantly. He asks me if I've ever been on the ride before and I tell him about the Klingons. He sympathizes and suggests that we ride it together. He's been on it before, and he is certain I'm going to love it. We run into Stephen Furst (an actor from Babylon 5 who I worked with on St. Elsewhere before I started Star Trek ), and he joins us.
    We work our way back through the museum and make our way to the entrance.
    The ride starts out like Star Tours. We're all in a line, watching some monitors. An actor is describing to us how the safety belts work, or something, when all the lights go out. The monitors flicker, lights strobe, there are some special effects and a gust of air. When the lights come back up, we're standing in the transporter room on the Enterprise .
    I didn't expect this. I am stunned and stare at my surroundings. It's amazing.
    The Transporter Chief says, "Welcome to the 24th century. You are aboard the Starship Enterprise ."
    She could have said to me, "Welcome to 1987, Wil. You are on Stage 9."
    She touches her communicator and says, "I have them, Commander."
    Jonathan Frakes's voice booms over the comm, "Good work, Lieutenant. Please take them to the bridge."
    We leave the transporter room and walk down a long corridor, which is identical to the ones I walked down every day. I realize as we walk