Free Since Forever Ago by Olivia Besse Page B

didn’t realize we were in an exclusive relationship! As if I’m the one who’s being unreasonable for getting upset!”
    After their therapeutic brunch session, Liz had dragged her feet to go perform her vehement swan song for Henry. Meanwhile, Riley and Audrey had retreated to a nearby bar to continue drinking their troubles away, as 21-year-old girls were naught to do whenever troublesome ex-boyfriends pulled the kind of preposterous shit that Noah just had. The two had engaged in a distressing game of tug-of-war with Riley’s phone, which was now locked away within the safety of Audrey’s bag, far from Riley’s bipolar reach.
    “You’re kidding me,” Riley muttered under her breath, thoroughly annoyed with every member of the male species at this point. Was the act of cheating on your girlfriend before making her feel like it had all been her fault some sort of initiation into the bastard brotherhood?
    “ Then he called me immature for crying my eyes out and un-friending him on Facebook without consulting him first. As if discussing his licentious ways with him beforehand would have made anything better! I fucking hate him.”
    “Seriously, he’s such a douchebag,” Riley said with a nod. “Good riddance.”
    “It’s like, why would you give me your grandmother’s ring if you’re just going to cheat on me?” Liz mumbled out, her eyes tinged with red.
    “Why do you still have it, anyway?” Riley asked with a curious frown.
    “Can you believe that he thinks I’m just going through a ‘phase’?” Liz told them, scoffing dramatically at the absurdity of it all. “He refused to take it back, even after I threw it at his face! He just kept telling me to hold onto it for now, because he actually believes that I’m going to get over this whole thing. Like it’s not even a big deal!”
    “Ew,” was all that Audrey and Riley could say in unison.
    “And now I have to mail the damn thing to him because I can’t bear to look him in the face ever again,” Liz muttered in disgust before letting out a shaky sigh. “What’s the point of cheating if you never even had any intention of ending things with your girlfriend? Why do they do that? Why, why, why?”
    “Because all men are insensitive, lying, cheating pieces of garbage,” Riley replied through gritted teeth.
    “But we love them!” Audrey chirped brightly, prompting her two friends to glare at her as she took a sip from her drink.
    “What’d you see in him anyway?” Riley asked with a roll of her eyes as she proceeded to pick up the glittering diamond, absentmindedly rolling the platinum band around in her fingers before adding, “He was so stuffy and pretentious.”
    “We never liked him either,” Audrey blurted out, snatching the ring from her friend’s hand with sparkling eyes. “He was way too chatty.”
    “You said you liked that about him,” Liz said with a frown.
    “Well, that was when he was being nice,” Audrey replied matter-of-factly as she slipped the ring onto her finger with a tiny squeal, just as Liz let out another groan. “Now it was just obnoxious in retrospect.”
    Riley rolled her eyes at her bubbly friend’s preoccupancy with anything shiny or glittery. “Agreed.”
    “Anyway, enough about him. Distract me, I beg of you,” Liz said before turning to Riley with a tired smile. “What’d you end up doing about Noah?”
    “I ignored him,” Riley told her, feeling a sense of pride as she relayed this information.
    “Really?” Liz asked, an impressed look on her face.
    “Really,” Audrey perkily confirmed. “Well, not really at first. Actually, she was pretty bad at the beginning. She even scratched me like some kind of rabid animal while I was trying to keep her phone from her!” she added with a pout, showing Liz the raised nail marks on her arm. “But after a few hours, she eventually calmed down. Vodka’s, like, a super good tranquilizer!”
    “Super good,” Riley agreed, drunkenly nodding in