that I can’t and won’t be doing this forever. It’s time.”
Darcy sighed. “I know. It’s just…”
“Anyways. I called just to let you know I’m out,” Nate said. “Try not to miss me too much.”
“You know I will, jerk,” Darcy quipped, but Nate could hear the regret in his voice.
“I see you around, jackass.”
Darren was waiting for him by the time Nate got back to Darren’s apartment.
“Where’ve you been? I woke up and you weren’t there—”
“I went for a walk,” Nate answered coldly.
“You all right, babe?” Darren pulled Nate into his arms. He was wearing a robe on top of his boxer briefs, and the heat of his chest almost crumbled Nate’s resolve. “I’m just worried, that’s all.”
Nate pushed away from Darren’s arms and sat down on the armrest of the couch. He clasped his hands between his knees as he watched Darren pull on a pair of jeans and a sweater. His wavy black hair hung loosely from his forehead and Nate had the sudden urge to brush it back for him.
“I’m leaving,” Nate said calmly as Darren came back into the living room.
“What?” Darren froze.
“I said, I’m leaving.”
“You’re not staying for the rest of the day?”
“No. I’m leaving. Leaving you.” Nate closed his eyes as he said. Nate didn’t think he could bear looking at Darren as the man realized what he was saying.
“What? Why?”
“This full-time thing just isn’t working, Darren.” Nate opened his eyes but he couldn’t see Darren clearly as moisture began to collect in his eyes.
“Why?” Darren’s shoulder slumped like someone had killed his favorite puppy. Maybe what he did wasn’t that far off, Nate though to himself. “I thought you were happy here. I thought you were happy with me?”
“It’s a good arrangement,” Nate heard the speech he’d prepared tumble out of his lips. “But I need to see other clients. This exclusive thing isn’t working for me.”
Nate stood up, put his hat back on and made his way to the door.
“No, I don’t believe that.” Darren grabbed onto Nate’s wrist, tight enough to be uncomfortable.
“Believe what you want, it won’t change a thing,” Nate said, trying to pull his wrist back from Darren’s hands. “Darcy will be in touch to settle your account.”
“Wait!” Darren said. “Just tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Tell me that you don’t love me.”
I can’t, because I do love you , Nate wanted to say, but he knew he couldn’t.
Instead, he said, calmly, “I’ve never loved you.”
He struggled out of Darren’s hold on his wrist and ran out the door. Riding in the elevator down to the lobby, he could no longer stop the tears from spilling out. He sobbed and banged his fist on the brass panels of the elevator as he slid down to the floor.
The elevator dinged as it arrived at the lobby. Wiping his tears, he walked quickly out of the elevator towards the door.
“Nate! Wait!”
Darren’s voice sounded from behind him as he stood by the road to hail for a cab.
“Darren, I told you—”
“I don’t care. I don’t believe that you never loved me.” Darren leaned forward and kissed him. “I know, in my heart, that you love me. I just know.”
“Let go.” Nate struggled against Darren’s hold. “Let go of me!”
“No. I will never let go.”
Nate yanked his arm harder and finally pulled away from Darren.
And into oncoming traffic.
Chapter 5
The last thing Nate remembered before the darkness was the bright light in his eyes. He woke slowly, confused. He blinked open his eyes but he could barely keep them open.
There were noises around him. Lights. And people talking. Shouting.
And everything hurts.
He groaned then shut his eyes again. If he wasn’t awake it wouldn’t hurt as much, right?
He woke again and he was somewhere else. There were still people around him, but everything was swaying from side to side. He didn’t hurt as much as before—in fact, he felt euphoric and