Free Killer Within by S.E. Green Page B

stop. The adrenaline. The pumping blood. At least it makes me feel alive. If even for a few seconds.” He lays his hand over his heart and rubs it. “There’s this huge emptiness in me and I want to fill it, but I don’t know how.” He stops, takes a breath. “Anyway, there it is. That’s got to be the most I’ve said to anyone in a very long time.”
    I don’t immediately respond to his words that make too much sense. I take in his wind-messed blond hair and honest, yet lost and confused eyes. And then I decide to be just as honest. “For me it’s darkness. It’s an itch I need desperately scratched. It’s a craving that once satisfied keeps coming back.”
    He nods, and I find myself perplexed by the fact I just told him all that. Yet it feels so good that I did.
    “Maybe you and I need to try some adrenaline sports,” he suggests. “Bungee. Parachuting. Shark diving.”
    Actually, that doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea. “I went to church,” I tell him, as long as we’re sharing. “Found some clarity.”
    “Church.” He mulls that around. “Haven’t tried that yet.”
    “Maybe we’ll go sometime.”
    “Yeah, maybe.” Tommy takes a tentative step toward me. “So can we try again? At being healing friends?”
    Healing friends. I kind of like that choice of words.
    “Yes,” I say, even though I know deep down I’ll never heal. I’ll always be who I am.
    Tommy gives me a hug that at first starts out awkward and slowly turns into being okay. He smells like leather. Zach always smells like boy-scented body wash. Why am I comparing their smells?
    Tommy brushes a kiss across my cheek and steps back.
    My insides do the fluttery girlie thing, and I frown. Fluttery girlie thing? That’s not me. But I liked that kiss. He has whiskers, and they feel good. Real good.
    Then why am I frowning? If I like something, shouldn’t I be smiling? Yes, but I don’t want to be fluttery and girlie. I want to be focused.
    He doesn’t look at me as he rumbles off on his bike. After he’s gone, I turn to head back into Patch and Paw and catch Dr. Issastill standing in the side yard, watching us through the fence.
    He quickly turns away, trying to make it look like he wasn’t staring, and I find this oddly amusing. So Dr. Issa is snooping about me and biker guy. Isn’t that something?

    When I get home, Daisy and Hammond are sitting on our front steps, holding hands and talking. He sees me getting out of my Jeep, gives Daisy a good-bye kiss on the cheek, sends me a wave, and walks off.
    Daisy sits there, watching him, and when I finally reach her, she glances up. “I’ve got it bad.”
    This is where I normally brush her off, but with us being more sisterly now, I take a seat. “Yeah?”
    Her face curves into a dreamy smile. “Yeah,” she chuckles. “He doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. He doesn’t drink or do drugs. I mean, where’d this guy come from, right?”
    “That sounds great.” So different from what she’s ever done before.
    She looks at me, like she’s completely perplexed with her own self. “Yeah, it really does.”
    We share a smile, and the front door opens. Victor takes a second to look between us, like he can’t believe his daughters are having a “moment.”
    “Ready for our help?” Daisy asks, then turns to me. “We’re clearing out some of Mom’s stuff for storage.”
    “Yeah, Dad told me.” I can’t wait.
    He tosses me a key. “That’s to our file cabinet. The whole bottom drawer is full of stuff she threw in there. Just put it all in the box I brought from work and leave it in the office. I’m going to go through it tonight.”
    I already picked the lock on the filing cabinet. I know what’s in there. Nothing really.
    He turns to Daisy. “You hit the bathroom and clear out all her makeup and products. Both you girls go through her jewelry and clothes and see if you want anything. I’ll be in the basement with Gramps.” With that he walks off.
    Daisy