Free I am HER... by Sarah Ann Walker Page B

sorry I haven't been well.  I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm calling the doctor tomorrow..."
  "Look, I'm very busy here.  I'm not sure when I'll be home, so don't wait up, okay?"
  Holy shit!   Marcus hung up on me.  Marcus doesn't know when he'll be home?  Marcus doesn't even care about the doctors?  He always cares about stuff like that.  He wants his wife to be healthy and drama-free.  Wake up!   Marcus doesn't care about me anymore.
      At 9:58, I check my emails again, but there’s nothing.  Good.  Maybe Z decided to back off.  Maybe my begging worked.  Maybe he called someone else.  Maybe, Kayla? Maybe he became bored with me... 
  When my phone suddenly rings, I jump once more.  Will I ever learn to handle a phone ringing again? 
  "Hello?"
  "Hi Sweetheart.  Do you have privacy?" 
  "Um, yes.  My husband isn't home from work yet."
  " Pardon?   He didn't stay with you all day, and he isn't even home before 10:00?  Please tell me he at least called every hour to check up on you?" Do I lie?  Will he know if I lie over the phone?  Probably.
  "Um... No, he didn't.  I assured him this morning that I was fine though, and he trusts me, so he didn't really have to call me today."   God that sounded so pathetic.
  "To quote the charming Ms. Kayla, 'your husband is a fucking prick'!"
  "No, he's not!  We're just not like that. If I say I'm fine, he trusts that I'm fine.  There was no need for drama or concern today, because I told him I was FINE.  Marcus is a good man, and he’s nice, and he loves me." 
  "Well, I am delighted to hear that.  I'm pleased that your ignorant, selfish, jack-ass of a husband is ‘good and nice’.  I'm sure that’s exactly what you want in a spouse."
  "You don't know me!  God, Z.  Why do you keep talking to me, like we know each other?  We don't.  Marcus is EXACTLY the kind of man I want.  He is calm and stable and he loves me.  He’ll never cheat on me.  And he’s good to me…"
      But even as a say it, I don't really believe it.  Marcus isn't actually good to me, he just kind of acknowledges me, has sex with me once a month, and that's really about it... Huh.
  "Are you through, Sweetheart?  Have you convinced yourself yet, that your husband is the kind of man you actually want ?”  No , not really.
  "There is no convincing needed.  I married him, and he is wonderful.  We have a nice life.  We have a lovely home, and beautiful furniture to furnish our lovely home."
      Furniture?   Am I actually stressing Marcus' marital merits to a stranger with FURNITURE?
  Z laughs, "Did you just try to defend your husband’s lack of thought and concern for you, with furniture ?”  Yes.   Yes, I did.
  "N-no.  I was just saying that we have a nice home together because Marcus likes nice things."
  "Marcus likes nice things?  And what do you like, Sweetheart?"  Um…
      "I like nice things too.  We have a nice life together because he and I usually agree on everything."  Ah, except before, during, and after sex.  There we really do not see eye to eye, I giggle to myself. 
  "Why are you laughing?  Is it because you are finally seeing the absurdity of your statements?"  Nope.  It's because I'm thinking about sex with Marcus.
  "No.  I'm just thinking about something Kayla told me, um, yesterday."  Another lie?  Shit.
  " Really?   And what did Kayla tell you that was so funny?"  Pause.  I can’t think of a single thing.  I have a complete blank where cognitive reasoning used to be.  And the pause just gets longer…
  "Um... It's private.  Just between girls..."  That's believable, right?
  "Interesting.  I think you're lying to me.  Kayla informed me today, that though she tries very hard to be your friend, you’re very emotionally detached from her and everyone else she has ever seen you speak to. So I find it intriguing that you and Kayla would suddenly share something just