Free Mutual Release by Liz Crowe Page A

and smoked. Evan had allowed himself to spill it – to tell Jack nearly everything, stopping just short of his own fury at himself for letting Damian manipulate him. “No, I’m fine. It’s fine. I’m… Shit.” He shook his head, unwilling to admit how tempting it was to jump back into the lifestyle Mr. Gordon was proposing.
    “Listen, I get it. I know you had a rough start on this, but…” Jack looked away, and Evan was startled at the realization the other man was at a loss for words. Which was a rare occurrence to be sure. “I think we could… learn, you know, from each other. And we can study together. We have nearly all the same classes next fall. And as far as the money goes, we’ll sort it out, figure out a way to make it work. Besides, I want to hear more about how you went an entire three and a half years of undergrad without getting laid, because that is like some kind of freak-show thing, brother.”
    For the first time in years Evan went with his gut and not his head. “Okay. All right. I’ll… I’ll do it. Put my name on the lease. And for the record, I got laid, but never the way… I wanted. And never anything more than just to let off steam, like a long run. Or something.” He looked away.
    “My man.” Gordon smacked him on the shoulder and rose, shouldering his own pack full of books. “You will not be sorry, Adams, mark my words. We will study, party, eat, chase tail… oh, and I am going to take you to a club where I go – where you can get off the way you really want. Without fear of hurting anyone, if that’s what’s bothering you.”
    Evan smiled at his friend, shoving away the guilt that crowded his brain. He’d stayed in touch with Caroline for a few years. Knew she’d settled in Florida and was engaged, headed for marriage with a much older man. As for his nemesis, Damian was kicking ass and taking names at U of M and had gone right from undergrad to law school there; no big surprise. His parents kept him up to date, as if he cared. The extreme dysfunction of their blindness to the guy’s evil never ceased to amaze Evan. But he played along, going home for a few requisite holidays and pretending with them that “All Was Well and Perfect in the Adams House.” But he stayed away every summer, choosing to live on campus and work, anything to not face his sister and Damian together.
    Olivia had gotten her degree in social work, danced for the University Musical Society and, as best as Evan could tell, put up with Damian pretending to be her boyfriend while he kept up his old tricks at the BDSM club. The guy sent him information in email, with veiled messages about his split life, hoping Evan would “finally understand and accept” his relationship with Olivia for what it was. That he, Damian, “needed her love” to stay sane. Well, that, and beating on women while he came.
    Holy shit, what a sick fuck.
    Evan was relieved to be shed of him. But the part of him his twin had inhabited for years, that Damian had stolen, ached many times late at night when he couldn’t sleep. He missed her. And he’d failed her. But it was out of his hands now.
    The coming summer would be no different but for the added wrinkle of living in a house with a guy he barely knew, waiting for the fall semester to start, and dipping his toe back into a sexual fetish world he missed like a phantom limb.
    When he got to his student apartment, one of his roommates was lolling on the couch, reading, and smoking. Evan tossed his stuff on the table and opened the window to dispel some of the haze. “You missed a couple of phone calls. That Karen girl again, I think. I do not get why you won’t jump into that. You gay or something?”
    “Fuck you,” Evan muttered, sitting and staring at his shoes for a second. He’d met a girl in his torts class, and she’d made it clear she would welcome more than the casual flirtation he’d been offering. But his brain froze, and his body with it, at the thought of