Free Japanese Slang by Peter Constantine Page B

taunting terms for these organs are menashib (eyeless stick), kawakaburi (skin covered), suppon (“mud turtle,” for pull as you may, the head will not come out), and hkaburi and hkamuri, the kind of kerchiefs that Western cow rustlers tied around their faces to keep their incognito.
    â€¢Â Â Â  Omae hkei to kiitan da!
We heard you've got problems with your dick!
    â€¢Â Â Â  Nani yo sono dekai taid? Dse suppon no kuse ni sa!
What's with this attitude? His dick doesn't even work right!
    â€¢Â Â Â  Nan de atashi no kare anna ni hansamu na no ni, anna ni kawakaburi nan dar.
My boyfriend is so handsome, I just wish his dick weren't so useless.
    â€¢Â Â Â  Sorya ore hkaburi daked! Dshiro'ttsn da yo? Jisatsu shiro'ttsn no ka yo?
So my dick's fucked up! What d'you want me to do? Kill myself?
    The bar's male population will often use animalistic words. The largest organs are the uma (horse) and the even larger umaname (horse lick). These are so sizable that when their owners squat at the public bath, the organs bounce onto the wooden platform in what is admiringly called itaname (board licking). Also well-proportioned are the uwabami (boa constrictor) and the aodaish(Elaphe climacophora), an attractive blue-green snake, and the orochi, the mythical monster serpent that never failed to startle ancient heros and heroines. On a smaller scale we find the modest unagi (eel), also playfully known as the miminashiunagi (earless eel). If a penis is run-of-the-mill the bar crowd will call it a turtle ( kame ) or a goose ( gan and kari ). If just the shaft is under discussion, then the more specific gankubi and karikubi, the words for “goose neck” are used. Yamagata Hgen Jiten (Yamagata Dialect Dictionary), a penetrating linguistic survey published by the Yamagata Dialect Research Association in 1970, holds that in northeastern Japan, in Yamagata, kari is used exclusively to specify the lower band of the penile head where the glans is at its widest.
    â€¢Â Â Â  Anta no gankubi iren'no? Tetsudate ageru wa?
Can't you get your shaft in? You want me to help you?
    When an erection is brought up, the goose words are transformed into gandaka and karidaka (goose high). If the man is fully clothed his friends will laugh, and some will refer to his organ as a tento mushi (tent bug), while others will ask tongue in cheek, Oi, tento o hatteru? “Yo, you're setting up your tent?”
    Some rough bars encourage penile games. After the excited customer has bought the hostess a drink or two, she fumbles for what she girlishly calls his pinpinchan (little Mr. Boing Boing), his erect penis, and does hakebune (sailboat). She sits on his lap, squeezes him between her thighs, and rocks back and forth to the cheers and whistles of the crowd. In some of the toughest establishments this bar-stool practice is advertised as dakko (dolly), while others go for the more blatant umanori (horse riding). Some establishments go even further. They offer otete supesharu (handy-pandy special) in which bar women publicly massage customers to orgasm, and sukinrippu (skin lip), the post-AIDS-scare attraction in which a penis is double-condomed and then fellated.
    These bars are a treasure trove of words for penises. Guffawing men discuss each other's size and prowess, hostesses cackle at their clients' anatomy and purr strings of hushed epithets, the barman reminisces, and the third-generation Korean from Kawasaki city calls his organ sbakui, a favorite term among Tokyo's ethnic Korean gangs. A transvestite recites a chain of fierce words that only gangsters use: yoshiko, hode, teibo, reji, dekademo, fukubeb, zun, zundoko, sade, bd. Snippets of conversation float through the smoke-filled bar:
    â€¢Â Â Â  Boku no sbakui ga gingin tatchatta!
My dork got stiff as a ramrod!
    â€¢Â Â Â  Omno hode shabutchatta?
She sucked your cock?
    â€¢Â Â Â  Atashi kare no fukubebni wa sore hodo kymi nain da