Free God on Sex: The Creator's Ideas About Love, Intimacy, and Marriage by Daniel L. Akin Page A

is easily excited by sight.
Communicate more openly about sex.
Do not make me feel guilty at night for my inconsistencies during the day (such as being affectionate enough).
Be more aware of my needs and desires as a man.
Show more desire and understand that caressing and foreplay are as important to me as they are to you.
Do not allow yourself to remain upset over everyday events that go wrong.
Do not try to fake enjoyment. Be authentic in your response to me.
Do not try to punish me by denying me sex or by giving it grudgingly.
Treat me like your lover.
Listen to my suggestions on what you can do to improve our sexual relationship.
Forgive me when I fall short of what I should be.
Tell me what I can do to be the sexual partner you desire. 4
    On the other hand, what suggestions have wives made to their husbands as to how they can make romance and sexual relations more meaningful? Again, this list is to help us get the idea.
Show more affection; give attention throughout the day; come in after work and kiss me on my neck and ask me about my day (and stay around and listen!).
Be more sympathetic when I am really sick.
Accept me as I am; accept me even when you see the worst side of me.
Tell me that you love me at times other than when we are in bed; phone sometimes just to say, “I love you!” Do not be ashamed to tell me, “I love you” in front of others.
While I am bathing or showering, find soft music on the radio or dim the lights and light a candle.
Honor Christ as the head of our home.
Talk to me after our lovemaking; make caresses after our lovemaking and hold me.
Be sweet and loving (at least one hour) before initiating sex.
Show an interest in what I have to say in the morning.
Help me wash dinner dishes and clean the kitchen.
Pay romantic attention to me (hold hands, kiss) even during relatively unromantic activities (television watching, car riding, walking in the mall, etc.)
Help me feel that I am sexually and romantically attractive by complimenting me more often.
Pray with me about the problems and victories you are having; let me express my own needs to you.
Do not approach lovemaking as a ritualistic activity; make each time a new experience.
Think of something nice to say about me and do it in front of others often. 5
    3. Needs —Women need to feel valued; men need to feel successful. Indeed, if you talk to a man about feeling valued, he probably will not understand what you are getting at. But if you talk to him about his need to feel successful, he will immediately understand what you mean. Women need to be heard. Communication is invaluable in speaking to the heart of a woman. Men, on the other hand, like their canine companions, need to be praised. When a woman praises her man, she speaks to one of the most basic needs of his heart, his need for admiration. His soul soars at the special place he occupies in the evaluation of his spouse.
    4. Self-worth —Women value relational moments and fear neglect. Men value occupational achievements and fear failure. Women are relational creatures. Barbara O'Chester wisely asserts, “Women love to make a memory.” Men would not really understand what that is all about. However, men often gauge their own self-worth by what they do for a living. Furthermore, failure at one's occupational assignment can be absolutely devastating to a man's self-worth. If and when a man loses his job, it is an especially crucial time for a woman to step in and affirm him and let him know that she still values him above all other men. We have seen this truth reiterated again and again in the Song of Songs as Shulammite praises Solomon in every imaginable way. A good wife will not forget how important this is to the fragile male ego. Men, on the other hand, must understand that the relationships of life are absolutely crucial to a woman. If a man neglects his wife, he wounds her spirit and bruises her heart in a way that can hardly be healed.
    5. Time —Men do not think much about