if we were to have a real shot at a future.
I extracted myself from his arms—reluctantly, but the day was starting and we had to stick to a schedule at the center. It was another component of the treatment, of the new lifestyle I had ahead of me.
I took a quick shower and got dressed in the bathroom, suddenly feeling a little shy around Dare. My hands shook as I toweled off. There were things he would learn about me today that I had no idea how he would handle. I’d been conditioned by my parents to believe I was the cause of all my problems. The blame always lay with me. I was aware now that wasn’t true, but the self-hate was still embedded deep within me. Yanking it out was a long process.
When I came out of the bathroom, Dare was standing by the window, already dressed.
“Ready?” I asked.
“For you? Always.”
We sat next to each other, but I didn’t touch him. I couldn’t even look at him. My entire body felt wound as tight as a freaking yo-yo, and my emotions were about as stable as one. We listened to people testify about their breakthroughs and setbacks. Only a couple of others had someone else with them, and I was amazed at how openly they spoke in front of these new strangers, Dare included.
I was going to have to do it, too.
Oh, god.
“Reagan?” Gino, the counselor, was pointing at me. “What about you? Do you have anything you wish to share today?”
My mouth felt dry, and when I tried to speak no sound came out. I cleared my throat and reached deep inside for every little piece of resolve I could muster. “I’m…uh…” I glanced at Dare and was struck silent by the look of pride on his face.
Pride? He was proud of me?
No one had ever looked at me like that. And he was doing it here of all places, under these circumstances.
I was filled to the brink with warmth. And renewed strength.
“I’m doing better,” I said, turning back to the group. “I actually slept last night, and without nightmares of…” I swallowed hard, before forcing the word out. “… Jackson .”
“That’s great progress, Reagan. I’m so glad to hear that.” Gino smiled warmly at me, and I exhaled, feeling myself relax a tiny bit more.
Step one was done and over with. Despite being hard, it hadn’t broken me.
Maybe I really could do this after all.
Dare and I sat in the circle of chairs after everyone else had cleared out to get lunch, but I could feel the questions burning in him and I knew I needed to get this over with before I’d be able to even think about food.
He’d stiffened when I’d said Jackson’s name, then reached for my hand and held it tight as Gino moved his attention to someone else. The gesture had brought tears to my eyes, even as my stomach clenched at the thought of telling him.
But I had to. He needed to know.
And, maybe more importantly, I needed to tell him.
“So,” he said when we were finally alone. “Jackson?”
I nodded, inhaling sharply.
“If you don’t want to talk about it right now,” he said quickly, “it’s okay, Ree. I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No. I want to. It’s just…hard.” I pushed the tears back down. I couldn’t allow this to keep making me fall apart. I was tired of the control my history had over me. It was time to assert myself over my past. Finally. Once and for all.
Or, at least, one step at a time.
“Jack…” God, my heart beat too fast, my breathing came too quick. I was going to pass out if I didn’t get my body under control. I pressed one hand to my chest in an effort to calm down.
It was going to be okay. I was going to be okay.
Jackson wasn’t here.
“He…attacked me.”
I chanced a glance at Dare. His jaw was tight, his fists clenched, and his eyes glued to my face. But there was no judgment in his expression. No disgust. No disbelief. Nothing that even remotely resembled the looks on my parents’ faces when I’d told them.
I took another deep breath and pressed