exclaim.
“Now Shilah,
you know that’s not entirely true,” Dad says, still calm and
rational.
“It is true!
All I want to do is go out with the one and only friend I’m allowed
to have. She goes out all the time, she even gets to have people
over here, like today when Drew was here.”
Did he just say
what I think he said? Did he just sell me out to Dad?! I can’t hear
Dad’s reply but I hear someone coming down the hallway. I have no
idea what I’m in for.
Shilah opens my
door, I sit up in bed and just stare at him.
“I’m so sorry,”
he whispers. “I didn’t mean for it to come out, I promise.” Before
I get a chance to respond, Dad comes up behind Shilah, pushes past
him and grabs my desk chair. He moves it to beside my bed and
sits.
“Give us a
minute will you Shilah?” he says, not taking his eyes off me.
Shilah leaves and I swallow, hard. “What’s this about a boy being
over here? It was that Stanley boy wasn’t it?” I stare at him
blankly, I don’t know how to answer. He sighs, “Do you really think
bringing someone here, or even getting involved with someone at
your age is really the smartest idea Allira?”
I hang my head,
“No, probably not.”
“I don’t know
what has got into you lately and it better not have been that boy.”
I shudder at his notion. “You never used to be this reckless.”
“I’m sorry,” I
say before going silent. Dad gets up and is about to walk out when
my stupid mouth feels the need to defend Drew. “But it’s not like
it’s any different to having Ebbodine over here.”
“With Ebbodine,
you don’t have her hands trying to get into your pants and no
hormones clouding your judgment!”
“I promise I
won’t let Drew do that. We are just spending time together because
we’ve both been through similar stuff lately. That’s all, I
promise.” I feel horrible lying to Dad about how I feel about Drew,
but he would never let me go out with him otherwise.
“Just be
careful Allira,” Dad says as he walks out.
***
I roll over in
my bed and stare out my window. The sky is still dark grey, the sun
not yet ready to come out of hiding. I can see a band of orange
light, brightening up the horizon as the day prepares to awaken. I
wish I could have got more sleep.
I stop by
Shilah’s room before heading to the train station.
“Are you ready
for today?” I ask him.
“Yes, are you ready? I swear Allira, you’re more nervous about going
to the Institute than I am.” He always seems so relaxed about
going. If I were Defective, the Institute is the last place I would
want to go.
“I know, I’m
sorry. I just worry about you. I’d hate to lose you and have to
turn your room into my very own personal walk in wardrobe,” I smirk
at him.
Humour is a
pretty bad defence mechanism to have, especially when you don’t
exactly have the right sarcastic tone and a lot of the time people
can’t tell if you’re being serious or joking. Shilah just shakes
his head and nudges me with his elbow as he walks out of the room
though. He knows I’m only teasing.
Drew and I
arrive at school and the buses are lined up out the front. We go
stand in line and wait to be herded onto them like cattle.
Drew and I
spend the entire trip in silence. I feel sick to my stomach as I do
every year. Drew seems as on edge as I do, although I don’t know
why. The trip takes longer than usual, well it feels like it
anyway. The journey has no fresh scenery the whole way, it’s a real
stunning view of concrete and then desolate dry land for as far as
the eye can see.
I start to
think of other places I would rather be right now: the dentist for
one. You have to go to the city to get into a dentist, I’ve only
ever been once when I needed a filling and it scared the life out
of me. Since then I have vigorously brushed my teeth twice,
sometimes even three times a day. I can still hear the sound of the
tiny little drill. I run my tongue along my teeth and I swear I