Free Take Me Away by S. Moose Page B

under my skin and I want to spend more time with her. We're friends," I laugh, shaking my head. "Even though all I can think about is kissing her and making her mine."
    "It’s not too soon. When are you going to let yourself fucking live, man? I hate seeing you like this. You’re better than the skanks.” I take in what he’s saying. Normally I don’t let people talk to me like this. But Gavin’s my best friend and has been there for me. “I think you need to go for it. Listen," Gavin pauses, thinking about what to say. He's careful when it comes to Emily. "I know you love Emily and you will forever. She wants you to move on, though. So do it, Treston. You're not going to find a better girl than Zara. She's the real thing, the whole package."
    "I know." Slipping my hand in my sweatpants, I take out my phone.
    Me: What are you doing?
    Peaches: Just got home...Why'd you leave?
    Me: Come over and hang out with me
    Peaches: Okay
    Peaches comes over with Katy and Jamie. We agree to head out to dinner and they wait for me as I get ready. I pull out the framed picture from my drawer, sit on my bed and touch her face.
    “I miss you, Em. I miss you so damn much. Why’d you leave?” I stare at her picture and remember her voice in my head. The sweetest voice ever. “You know, I know you’re the reason why everyone’s crazy at school,” I force out a laugh, “People keep telling me things and there’s this girl…” My voice trails off and I stop talking.
    Pulling out my phone, I open my music app and play What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts. This song was on repeat for months when I lost her. It helped me through my pain and my drunken state. I let out a breath and lean back against my headboard, listening to the words, looking at her picture.
    “I miss you.”
    Fuck.
    Why the fuck am I letting this happen? I finally found a girl worth having in my life, someone who makes me feel alive, and this shit is happening.
    "Treston?" Her voice brings me out of my funk, "You okay?" She touches my arm, pulls the chair from my desk and sits down next to me. Her hand slides down my arm and into my hand. I still a breath and look at her. There’s a paralyzing fear against my chest. I’m unable to move and pull away from her.
    “Talk to me.” Her warm voice resonates through me.
    I close my eyes, taking in a few deep breaths. When I turn my head and look at her that fear is gone. She wants me to open up to her and I do, but it scares the shit out of me. The horror on her face when I tell her I’m the reason why Emily died is something I’m not ready to see. My chest tightens and in that moment she squeezes my hand. How does she do this? How can she simply hold my hand and I feel okay?
    “I’m here, Treston and I’m not going anywhere.”
    “My past,” I clear my throat, “It’s hard.” That’s all I manage to tell her.
    “Will you tell me one day?”
    I look at her, really look at her and realize that I don’t want to push her away. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I kiss the side of her head.
    "One day I will.” Still holding her in my arms she listens to the song with me and remains quiet. I know it’ll make me feel better to open myself up.
    Or maybe I’ll lose her.
    I want to experience something new with her, but I can’t yet. When the song’s over we stand up, still holding hands, and walk toward the door. “Let's go."
    When dinner's over, I don't want her to leave yet. Instead of heading back home with everyone, I take her to the field where I sometimes come and think. Sitting down in the middle, I look at her and see a smile.
    "What?" I ask.
    She looks at me then lifts her head to the sky. "I come here sometimes to think too. It's nice when it's just me and the fields. I press my hands into the grass and feel myself running with my lacrosse stick, passing by the defenders and aiming the ball toward the goal. It goes in every time."
    "What else do you think about?"
    "Life. Things. I don't know really.