Free Issola by Steven Brust Page B

too. I had to look at her before I knew she was kidding. It was a very un-Teldra-like remark; I guess she was rattled too. She said, "Where are we?"
    "Where we're supposed to be. Or where we're not supposed to be, depending on how you look at it. But this is the home of Verra. I've been here before. Straight up ahead there, through thosedoors, is where I've seen her."
    "You've been in her presence, then?"
    "Yes, a couple of times. Once here, once elsewhere. Or maybemore often than that, if you use 'presence' loosely enough."
    "We are surrounded by the color of illness; not very encouraging."
    "I think it means something else to her."
    "I suspected as much. But what?"
    "I don't know, exactly. Is it important?"
    "It is something I ought to have known."
    "As Morrolan's High Priestess, you mean?"
    She nodded. "Something like that can be important. And just in general, the more I know of the gods, the better."
    "You must already know a great deal; maybe there are things you ought to tell me about Verra, before we go through those doors."
    "Perhaps there are," she said. "But one thing I know, my dear Easterner, is that to you she is the Demon Goddess, and to me she is Verra, and we know her differently. Whatever I know might not be useful; indeed, it might mislead you."
    I grunted. "Are the walls white?"
    "Yes."
    "I see them that way, too."
    "Point taken."
    "Then let's hear it."
    "On the other hand," she said, smiling a little, "it may be that I can't tell you anything useful, and you're just procrastinating, because you aren't in a hurry to go through those doors"
    "Point taken," I said, and started walking toward the doors.
    "Wait," she said.
    I waited.
    "A god," said Lady Teldra, "is the living, sentient embodiment of a symbol."
    "Oh," I said. "Well, that clears up everything."
    "Your people, Easterners, might speak of a god of life, a god of death, a god of mountains, and so on. Isn't that true?"
    "Sometimes," I said. "I think so. My education was a bit spotty."
    "Those are all symbols."
    "Death is a symbol?"
    "Certainly. Very much so. Death, in fact, is a very powerful symbol because it defines life." There were many things I could say to that, but I settled for, "All right, go on." She looked around, gesturing to the walls. "We stand in the halls of a very powerful being; one with skills and abilities that surpass those of any mortal. By tradition, she represents the random arbitrariness of life."
    "That's the rumor."
    "Well, look around. Does her home appear random and arbitrary?"
    I grunted, because I don't like giving obvious answers to pointed questions. "What are you getting at?"
    "That she isn't just a symbol, she's also a person."
    "Uh . . ."
    "The tradition isn't wrong," said Teldra, "it is merely imprecise. She—" Teldra stopped and frowned, as if looking for the right words. "Your goddess," she said at last, "is capricious. At any rate, that is her reputation. It may be only that we expect being with her power to behave with a certain consistency and decorum, whereas she follows her whims as much as any of us do. But don't depend on her."
    "I shan't," I said. "I never have." That wasn't strictly true. At one time I did, but I had learned.
    "Then that is all I can tell you," said Teldra.
    "All right," I said. "Thanks. Let's go."
    And we went, for several paces, until we reached doors that made Morrolan's look diminutive, and there we stopped, because, unlike Morrolan's, these didn't open as we stood before them.
    "Maybe we're supposed to say something," 1 suggested.
    "Maybe we aren't supposed to go in," said Teldra.
    I studied the massive doors, and the corridor behind me. "Last time I was here," I told her, "there was a sort of fog in the hallway. Now there isn't. Do you suppose it means something?"
    She shook her head; the sort of head shake that comes in answer to a question one doesn't know the answer to. I cursed under my breath, and, just because I couldn't think of anything else to do, clapped at the door.