Free Boss of Lunch by Barbara Park Page A

“Okay, okay,girls … that's enough,” he said.
    But May kept on arguing with me.
    “For your information, Junie Jones, mothers are
not
professional lunch makers,” she said. “Mothers are just plain old normal people.”
    I stamped my foot at her. ’Cause that was my final straw!
    “Do not call my mother
normal
, May!” I hollered. “No one in my whole entire family is normal! So there!”
    May started to laugh.
    Then some of the other children laughed, too.
    I do not know why.
    Finally, Mr. Scary snapped his fingers at them.
    I put my lunch box back on the floor.
    It was not my best morning.

The lunch bell rang at twelve o'clock.
    Twelve o'clock is around noonish, I believe.
    I picked up my lunch box and ran to the door. Then I lined up with my friends. And I waited to go.
    “It's almost time,” I told them very thrilled. “It's almost time for me to eat out of my brand-new lunch box!”
    I held it up for them to see again.
    “Which baby bird do you guys like the best?” I asked. “Pick one, okay?”
    My friend named José looked at the birds and shrugged his shoulders.
    “I don't know. I guess maybe I like the duck best,” he said. “Ducks can be funny sometimes. One time—when we were having a picnic at the lake—a duck chased my sister and stole her Ho-Ho.”
    My friends Lennie and Herb laughed real hard. They looked at my lunch box, too.
    “I think I like the owlet the best,” said Herb.
    “Me too,” said Lennie. “I saw a TV show on owls once. And an owl swallowed a giant rat in just one bite. He didn't even chew or anything.”
    After that, I stared at Lennie a real long time.
    ’Cause that disgusting story just ruined my owlet, that's why.
    Finally, all of Room One walked to the cafeteria together.
    The cafeteria is a big room where we eat lunch. It has smells and noise and tables in it.
    Room One sits near the window.
    I zoomed there speedy quick.
    “Come, Herb!” I called. “Come, Lennie and José! It's time for you to watch me eat out of my new lunch box!”
    I turned around to wait for them.
    Only too bad for me. Because none of those guys were even coming.
    Instead, they were standing in the stupid dumb
lunch line.
    My mouth fell open at that sight.
    “Herb! Hey, Herb!” I called. “What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you coming to eat with me?”

    Herb shouted back. “I'm buying my lunch today, Junie B.!”
    José shouted, too. “Me too. Everyone is buying today, Junie B.!”
    “
Hoagies!
We're having
hoagies!
” hollered Lennie. “Save us a seat!”
    My shoulders slumped real disappointed. ’Cause I wasn't actually expecting this development.
    I sat down at my table and looked all around.
    There was only one other person sitting there.
    His name is Sheldon.
    I do not know him that good.
    Sheldon waved his fingers at me. “We're the only ones here,” he said. “We're the only ones who didn't buy hoagies today.”
    I did a sigh. “Yes, Sheldon. I know that,” I said.
    Sheldon slid across from me.
    “Hoagies are very popular. But I'm not allowed to eat them,” he said. “I'm allergic to fake meat and cheese.”
    I looked at Sheldon closer.
    His nose was running very much.
    “Please wipe your nose,” I said.
    Sheldon didn't pay attention to me.
    “I'm only allowed to eat food that comes from nature,” he said.
    His nose ran even more. “Also, I'm allergic to dairy,” he told me.
    I handed him my napkin. “Blow. And I mean it,” I said.
    Sheldon did not blow.
    I slid to the end of the table.
    Pretty soon, my friends started comingout of the kitchen. The other children started coming, too.
    They sat down and took big bites of their hoagies.
    “Mmm,” said Herb. “This hoagie is
delicious
!”
    “Sí,”
said José.
“Muy delicioso!”
    Lennie nodded. Then he opened up his hoagie roll and looked inside.
    “I think even
you
would like this hoagie, Junie B.,” he said. “Look. It has ham and salami and cheese and lettuce and tomato.”
    Just then,