Free Middle of Knight by Jewel E. Ann Page A

told me about…” she paused “…the tumor.”
    Jillian nodded.
    “Do you think that’s the real reason for his change in personality?” Brooke’s eyes filled with unshed tears.
    She had to feel a pang of guilt as if she, too, was responsible for missing something, assuming it was the PTSD.
    “It could be, especially now, but even one of his doctors said he probably has PTSD, but sifting through his symptoms to determine which category they belong in is useless at this point. No one is to blame and we can’t change what already is.”
    Jillian said it for Brooke’s benefit, but she wanted there to be someone to blame. Having someone to blame made dealing with the pain so much easier.
    “You do know that his parents asked him to move back to Portland for treatment so they or we can help take care of him while he goes through radiation?”
    Jillian did not know that. “I … what did he tell them?”
    “He said he’d think about it.”
    “When did he say that?” She tried to hide her disappointment, or anger, or whatever feeling triggered some sort of meltdown inside her.
    “Yesterday when they talked on the phone.”
    Jillian had practically been living at his house the previous week to help him out and go with him to his appointments, but somehow that bit of information had not been shared with her.
    *
    It did rain and they still grilled out. Dodge and Lilith came for dinner too, but Cage couldn’t make it because he had a late practice to prepare for his first preseason game. The girls played hide-and-seek, then Stan took them out on his paddle boat with their dad.
    At one point Brooke and AJ disappeared inside, and when they both returned Jillian could tell Brooke had been crying and maybe AJ too. He wore a baseball hat pulled low on his head, which made it hard to get a good look at his eyes.
    Jillian found herself not fitting into Dodge and Lilith’s conversation with AJ’s parents, and AJ himself seemed to be avoiding her, so after dinner she sneaked out the door and went home. In that moment she regretted shoving Jackson out of the house because she needed a good kick in the ass to push her past the rut she’d fallen into since Brooke’s revelation about the possibility of AJ moving back to Portland.
    “Hey, I wondered where you went,” AJ said, standing at the bottom of the stairs.
    Jillian stilled the punching bag and tugged off her gloves. “I wanted to give you some time with your family.”
    “That’s nice of you, but you didn’t have to leave.”
    She shrugged, wiping the sweat off her brow with her arm. “I needed to work out anyway, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to be down here later when Brooke and everyone came back so …”
    “Oh … well, after you shower come back over for a little bit. Okay?”
    She nodded.
    AJ started back up the stairs.
    “I’m mad,” she said. That admission, those two words, ripped through her gut. Jillian didn’t want to be mad, and she sure didn’t want the insecurity that came with confessing her vulnerability.
    He stopped and turned, an uneasy squint tugging at his brow.
    The giving-a-shit, channeling her humanity thing, took its toll on her that day.
    “I’m mad. Okay? I was mad that time when I took Cage out on a date because you had the balls to go out with Carin after our moment in the shower that morning. So, I’m sorry. I should have just told you upfront that I was mad. I didn’t, but I am now.”
    “You’re mad at me now?” AJ looked lost. Typical male.
    “Yes, and I’m not even going to play the whole mind-fuck guessing game with you.” Her voice grew louder with each word. “I’m just going to tell you and then you’re going to apologize for even considering leaving me to move back to Portland!”
    AJ closed his eyes. “I was going to tell you.”
    “Tell me what? That they asked you or that you’re considering it?”
    He looked at her but didn’t answer.
    “You’re leaving.” She shook her head.
    “I didn’t