Free Within These Walls by Ania Ahlborn Page A

yell down at him, YOU forget it! she turned her back on him and pushed away from the balustrade.
    Lucas squeezed his eyes shut. Get it together . “You are Lucas ­Graham,” he murmured to himself, his right hand gripping the handrail. “You can do anything . ”A mantra he’d picked up from a self-help book— A State of Mind: How to Overcome Obstacles and Get What You Want . “Your failures are only failures in your mind . ” That was a hard one to swallow, especially when his failures were printed on royalty statements that didn’t make a dent in his bank account. “You will only succeed if you believe you deserve it.” He had to believe, even if it seemed crazy, even if this whole plan was insane.
    If Halcomb’s devotees could put their faith in a crackpot, Lucas could surely believe in beating the odds.

EXCERPT FROM “THIS CHARMING MAN”
    By Daniel Gould
    Rolling Stone (Issue 456)
    September 12, 1985
    Sandra Gleason was only fifteen when she met Jeffrey Halcomb, a name that, over two years ago, became synonymous with cults, murder, and devil worship. Back then, she went by Sandy—a moniker she’d picked up on account of her love for Grease and Olivia Newton-John. Sandy was a runaway, wandering the streets of San Diego, when a dark-haired stranger swept her off her feet. “He was very charming,” Sandy recalls of Halcomb. She sits across from me at a chic Los Angeles café, sipping on a cappuccino despite the summer heat. “He called me Sunrise. Once I met him, I couldn’t think of anyone else,” she tells me. “I was sort of in love with this other boy for a while, but after I met Jeff . . .” She shakes her head, as if to say forget it. “[Jeff] was magnetic, you know? He was infectious. Once he got in your head, he was in there for good.”
    Few members of Halcomb’s group have come forward since the murder/mass suicide. Sandy is the only who claims to have known each of the eight members who took their lives on March 14, 1983. “I knew them all,” Sandy tells me. “Gypsy and Sunnie. All of them. But not Audra Snow.” Gypsy was Georgia Jansen. Sunnie was Shelly Riordan. Every member of Halcomb’s group was renamed, as if to separate their past selves from the people Halcomb wanted them to become.
    Audra Snow came well after Sandy left the group. “She was my replacement,” Sandy explains. “At least that’s as much as I can figure out. Jeff had a thing for blondes. He sought them out, like Adam looking for his Eve.” A strange Biblical reference for a man whom the media has deemed a satanist. “I don’t know where they got that from,” Sandy tells me when I bring up the theory. “Jeff never mentioned the devil or much about religion at all. He was about love and togetherness and rejecting material possessions. He was, like, a walking representation of the peace-and-love generation. But he also made no secret about believing in God.”
    It’s no wonder Halcomb has fallen under satanic scrutiny, says Sandy. “People look at what he did and, yeah, it’s evil. I mean, he killed a baby.” She looks down at the table, as though trying to place herself in Audra Snow’s shoes. But of the time Sandy spent with Jeff Halcomb and his crew, she insists that she never feared for her safety. “It felt like the safest place in the world to be. Jeff promised to take care of us, and he did.” And while, at times, Halcomb forced his followers to live in tents and eat out of Dumpsters, Sandy insists those types of hardships weren’t a big deal. “We had tough times just like any other family,” she tells me. “But we were always happy.” It’s a wonder, then, that Sandy ever left the group. “Things started getting strange when I found out there was expectation,” Sandy says of her departure. “At first I thought Jeff just liked me more than the other girls, and really, I liked that. Who wouldn’t? Any girl in her right mind would have wanted [Jeff] for herself.” She blushes, then