Free When It Happens by Susane Colasanti Page A

constantly reminding myself not to call him Mr. Horny. Which is naturally what everyone calls him. And it’s probably true because he has, like, ten kids.
    I knock on the open door.
    “Yes?” He looks up from a stack of papers.
    “Sorry to bother you. I was—”
    “Did you just get here?”
    No. I’ve been under the piano this whole time.
    “Yeah. I’m . . . I have a quick question for you.”
    Mr. Horny grumbles. He motions me over.
    I go over to his desk and sit on the chair across from him.
    “What can I do for you?” he asks.
    “It’s about class. I was wondering? If I could switch partners. ”
    “Is there a problem with Robert?”
    “No. Well actually yeah. Not that he’s a problem.”
    Mr. Horny waits.
    “It’s kind of complicated,” I say. In my rush to get here, I forgot to figure out what to say.
    “I think I know what’s going on.”
    “You do?” How can he possibly know? Is it that obvious?
    “I’m not as out of it as you think,” he says. "I am rather observant, you know.”
    “Oh—yeah, absolutely.” So the guy’s been watching me lust over Sara this whole time?
    “It’s not easy being in your position.” He sighs. “I’ve been there myself.”
    Mr. Horny is, like, the last teacher I want to hear this from. Not that I want to hear about any of my teachers’ sex lives.
    “I should have seen this coming,” he says.
    The guy is good. He must have hormonal fluctuation radar. My readings fly right off the chart every time I look at Sara.
    “Robert’s not, how shall I put this delicately, the sharpest crayon in the box.”
    “Huh?”
    “You have an outstanding talent, Tobey. I realize that Robert’s not up to snuff.”
    “Oh.” This would be my current partner, Robert Garten. From that horrible incident in the locker room last year. I still feel bad for him. And how Dave was a part of it all.
    “Can you hang in there until the end of the marking period? He’ll be transferring out of the class at that time. I think he’s realized he’s not too musically inclined.”
    “Uh . . . I was sort of hoping for tomorrow.”
    “Well, I’ll be making changes at the end of the marking period, but I can’t do anything until then. In the meantime, maybe some of your talent will rub off on him.”
    The end of the marking period isn’t until next month. I have no idea how I’m going to last that long. But I have to play it cool.
    “Maybe,” I say.
    Mr. Horny opens a notebook. “Let’s see. There are some other changes I want to make, so let’s get all of this down. Who should I pair you up with? If I switch Paula with Graham—”
    “Actually, I had an idea.”
    “Oh?” Mr. Horny looks up from his page. “What’s that?”
    “Well . . . I was thinking that Laila and Sara are both really smart and they’re together. And that’s kind of hogging all the brainpower, you know?”
    He laughs. “I get the picture.”
    “And I’m trying to do a lot better this semester, for college apps and all. So if—”
    “Aha!” he announces like he just solved the Bermuda Triangle mystery. “I can put you with Laila.” He starts to write that down.
    “No!” I yell.
    Mr. Horny raises an eyebrow at me.
    “I mean, I was thinking that it would be . . .better if you put me with Sara.”
    “Any particular reason for that?”
    “Yeah.” The lie comes to me quickly. “She told me— she—we were talking about my music and she’s really into what I’m doing and we’re both into Vivaldi’s quartets and—”
    “Ah! I like those myself. Fine.” He writes that down.
    “Okay, well . . .” I get up.
    “Thanks for being honest with me, Tobey.”
    I only feel a little guilty.
    I drive to Mike’s house. I barge into his room without knocking.
    “Don’t mind me,” Mike says. "I just live here.”
    "Dude,” I say. "It’s done.”
    “What?”
    “The plan! Sara’s my partner!”
    “Shit!”
    “I know. But not until next month.”
    "No worries,” Mike says. “Until then,