Free Emotionally Charged by Selina Fenech Page B

returning his focus to the stained carpet.
    “If you could work out how to let emotion out a little, it might be easier to also pull them in more, create a more powerful block than your normal one. Something that could lock down an Empath permanently, like Jake said blockers can do. Do you think you could try letting some emotion through?”
    Dean shook his head. “I don’t think I can just… do that.”
    My suggestions weren’t working and Dean seemed less and less interested in trying them. But he had let emotions through in the past, or at least had been surprised out of holding them back so much they blocked my powers. In the alley, and when he was shot, he was too shocked to keep a tight rein on his feelings. I hadn’t actually read his emotions those times, but I hadn’t exactly tried. Other things on my mind and all. If I could just surprise him again now, I could see what happened.
    I acted on the impulse before common sense or embarrassment could stop me. I leaned over to Dean next to me on the lounge and pressed my lips against his. They were soft and cool and spread slightly under mine. My eyes fluttered closed and a shiver crept over my scalp. I felt the coldness leave me and opened my eyes, surprised that my impulsive action worked. Dean’s gray eyes looked into mine, just inches away, just as surprised.
    I focused on reading any emotions I could in them, drawing them into me. What I felt was heavy with depression, hiding something smaller, tentative and warm. Something guarded even closer. I moved my lips back away from Dean’s. His breath was fast and hot on my face.
    The depression I tapped overwhelmed me, like a heavy weight around my chest dragging me into black water.
    “Oh, depression, gross.” I made a sound with every vowel and a heavy grunt at the end. Only too late did I realize how insensitive my reaction was. Dean was confused, hurt, and then the icy chill spread through me again and I couldn’t read him anymore.
    “Oh no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to react like that. I just wanted to try surprising you into letting your guard down. I guess it worked. The feelings were just a bit much for me. But I’m sorry, anyway. I shouldn’t have done that.”
    Dean had closed off completely. He didn’t look sad, or upset. He didn’t even look angry. But now I knew inside he kept hidden an ocean of grief. Pressed down, out of sight. I could tell his life wasn’t easy. Everything around us screamed poverty line. His dad didn’t seem to work, and was probably an alcoholic, but Dean seemed smart, and able, and so… kind. My own chest ached wondering what had caused such despair here.
    I tried to smooth things over with Dean. He didn’t talk much for the rest of the day, but remained cooperative, nodding and trying a few more suggestions. We tried some visualizing techniques but honestly they just felt wanky. It was still early when Dean started looking gray and tired, and I could tell his arm troubled him. We ended the day frustrated and without any headway on locking down my powers.
    I insisted Dean kept his own bed and I curled up on the beanbag. He fell asleep before me, and for a while, before I found my own rest, I stared at him, remembering the sensation of the deep, black despair he kept inside.
     
    ***
     
    Thursday morning I woke up to Dean trying to tiptoe around me.
    “What time is it?” I asked, squinting at the window. The blinds were still drawn but barely any light came in.
    “Six thirty. I need to get to work.” Dean put on a dark blue hoody with holes at the elbows. “I’ll be back about three.”
    I sat up quickly in the beanbag. It shifted under me and I almost fell on my side.
    “No, you can’t. If you’re out working all day Jake might find you.”
    “I have to work, Livvy. I didn’t even get to cash Dad’s welfare check this week and I’m out of money.”
    Not only had I been taking up all his time, eating his food, and getting him in trouble in the first