Free Just Stay by Mika Fox Page B

legs, picks up his messenger bag from the floor, and exits the room without a word, closing the door behind him.
     

 
    Chapter 7
    Jake
     
     
    Seb has never before in his life felt this gnawing, aching feeling inside, at least not with nearly this much force. It makes it difficult to breathe, makes it feel as though the muscles in his chest are in a near constant state of constriction. It's unbearable.
    He hasn't spoken to Evan in days, not since that night. Not since Evan literally pulled away to run and hide, after giving Seb the best kiss of his life. Not since he broke Seb's heart into a thousand pieces, with just a look.
    Seb squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He has to stop thinking about it. He has to stop letting that look ruin everything. It was so painful, that he can't understand why it's etched into his mind like this. He doesn't want to remember it, doesn't want to be reminded of it. But it's hopeless, because he has come to realize that everything reminds him of Evan.
    The memory of that night is bittersweet. One moment, Seb will relish how Evan's lips felt against his, that rush of quiet excitement as he realized Evan was actually kissing him, actually touching him and making him melt against him.
    And the next, he will inevitably be reminded of the seconds that followed, Evan getting up and looking so shocked and confused, and Seb just sitting there, feeling so utterly unwanted and abandoned and rejected . It seems that he can't have one without the other.
    He's honestly a bit surprised that he hasn't heard from Evan, not a single word. Not a single text. He's certain of this, because he has, pathetically, taken to checking his phone every five minutes or so. Not a single glimpse of him on campus. Nothing.
    Seb is surprised, because he kind of hoped that despite everything, Evan was at least his friend, and would want to keep him around. But it seems that he was wrong. And the harsh realization of that is more difficult to deal with than he expected.
    Seb is sitting at his desk, trying desperately to focus on his lecture notes. But it's impossible. He feels as though he's reading them through a haze, leaving him feeling numb and subdued. He feels like he isn't even sad anymore; he's just tired.
    He actually cried that night, after holding on to that lump in his throat until he was safely within the walls of his own room. He actually cried. Not much, mind you, seeing as how Seb has never been big on crying, but still. It seemed like the only possible outlet for what he was feeling, the only possible way of getting it out of his system. And it helped, at least for a little while. He hasn't cried again since then. He can't bring himself to.
    The sun is setting outside, casting a pleasant, golden glow on the walls of his cluttered room, but Seb is completely lost on the beauty. It just isn't relevant.
    He isn't lost on the knock on his door, though, and he slowly turns his gaze over to it, complete and utter disinterest on his face. It's amazing how often he's been getting visitors these past few weeks, ever since he first met Evan.
    And ouch . There is that pain again.
    Seb slowly gets up from his desk and shuffles over to the door, his bare feet not making much noise, and he opens the door to let his gaze fall on the person standing outside. It's Jake. And as he sees Seb, he actually looks a bit concerned.
    "Hey, Seb," he says, not voicing said concern. It's obvious by his expression, though, that Seb clearly looks worse than he thought. "What's up?"
    Seb shrugs lamely. Hell , he feels like saying. I've barely slept, and all food tastes like cardboard. I haven't had a proper emotion in the last two days. I feel like there's a festering wound in my chest that I can't stop poking at, because it hurts when I do, and at least that's something.
    "Not much," he says, his voice flat and devoid of its usual sarcasm and dry humor. He's sure Jake notices, because he sets his brow in a concerned