and he shook his head. “No, I’ve liked men as far back as I can remember liking anyone. What I meant was, I don’t usually go home with strangers. I’m not really a casual sex kind of guy.” Justice clapped his hand over his mouth, a gesture that Nic was coming to associate with him. “I mean, not that we’re…I wasn’t expecting…we don’t have to… fuck .”
“Exactly,” Nic said with a chuckle and watched the blush creep down Justice’s neck. “Strangers?” He put a hand over his heart and gave Justice a mock pained look. “I’m hurt. The plane, the bar, the boat…we’re practically old friends. Strangers.”
Justice honest to God giggled, and the sound warmed Nic’s heart. His goal had been to take the kid’s mind off the panic attack and it seemed to be working, though the meds probably had a bit to do with it as well.
Sobering just as quickly, Justice continued own with his explanation. “One of my triggers seems to be getting myself into unfamiliar situations, or situations I can’t control. No matter how much I might want to be in the situation.
“When I was a little kid, whenever I’d get invited to go somewhere cool like Six Flags or something, I’d get so excited…but, usually the day of, I’d have to beg off because I was feeling sick. My parents usually assumed I was faking because I didn’t want to go. There just wasn’t enough information out there about anxiety disorders back then.”
“That sounds terrible,” Nic said sincerely. He wanted to steer the conversation away from the anxiety and back onto safer ground. “Is there anything we —I can do to make you more comfortable?”
“Just talk. Act normal. Knowing you know will make it better, but if you just talk to me, it will help me calm down. It may not always seem like I’m listening, but I am. Once I start babbling on like a crazy person, you’ll know I’m starting to come down.”
“Talk. Okay. What do you want to talk about?” He probably shouldn’t ask that. What if Justice couldn’t think in his state of mind? What if it made him more anxious?
Justice took another of many deep breaths and closed his eyes. Nic slid down and turned over, so that he was lying parallel to Justice, facing him. Justice pushed a damp, flopping curl off of his forehead and managed a weak smile.
“Well, I have been wondering one thing.”
“Shoot.”
“I could be wrong, but you don’t look like a millionaire. Um, no offense. How were you able to buy this huge yacht and start your own charter business?” He ducked his head into the pillow. “That’s probably rude, isn’t it? The anxiety disorder makes me a bit socially inept.”
God, he was freaking adorable. Nic already wanted to keep him, and damned if that wasn’t scary. “I’m not easily offended. Believe it or not, I get asked that a lot. My father was in the Navy, and was sent to Vietnam. He was so young when he enlisted, when he came back, he didn’t have a lot of prospects.
“He was working at the Pike Place fish market when he met Alfred Maddox. Alfred was a former Navy captain who ran a charter business. He sort of took Dad under his wing, and Dad went to work as a shipman on this very yacht. He saved his money, barely spent a dime before he met my mom, and eventually bought in as Alfred’s partner.
“When Al was ready to retire, he turned the day to day running of the business over to my dad and became more of a silent partner. Five years later he passed away and deeded the boat to Dad.”
Nic was sure he must be boring Justice to tears, but when he glanced over, the kid’s eyes were riveted to his face. “Wow. So how did you get it?”
“Basically the same way. I had a trust fund set up by my grandparents and I had some left over after college. So I bought into the business with Dad. And when he…when we lost him, he left the boat to me, along with his little ketch.”
“Ketch?”
“Sorry, sailboat.”
“I’m sorry about your dad.